PLAIN TRUTH: Beware the person with no boundaries

With revenge porn becoming the go-to solution for spurned lovers, we all know to be careful about who we share intimate photographs and videos of ourselves with. Once a man you have been chatting with for a few days or weeks begins asking for naked photos, your antennae should shoot up. We know that little good can come from such an exchange of, as those that indulge in it call it, filthy treasures.

We, however, pay little attention to the other kind of man – or woman. The one who will freely let you in on his personal space, easily share intimate information and maybe even send you his nudes with no prompting.

For some women, naked pictures from a man are a deal breaker. Others permit it. For this lot, when a man too easily lets you into his personal space, when he is the first one to send intimate photos of himself, the common assumption is that he is sweet, that he is trustworthy, that he has nothing to hide.

The truth is that you ought to be more wary of this man than you are of that one who asks for photos and videos upfront. If a person can’t respect their own personal space, can’t appreciate the value of their own privacy, why should you trust them to respect yours? It’s like trusting someone who doesn’t love themselves but tells you that they love you.

Some men can’t guard their personal boundaries. Others will put up an act so that you let your guard down. They will send you unsolicited photos or videos so that you won’t have qualms once they ask for yours. Whatever the case, a man who sends unsolicited intimate photos of himself will not hesitate to share yours.

PROTECT YOUR BOUNDARIES

Value your boundaries and your privacy. Taking and sharing intimate images and videos is a personal choice but always have it at the back of your mind that in the wrong hands, personal data can be used as power over you or, it could cost you a job and your reputation.

Beware of those who directly want to infringe on your boundaries. While at it, do not forget those who knowingly or unknowingly let you into their privacy with the quiet expectation that you will reciprocate. Do not even for one second confuse a person’s disregard for their privacy with them being safe or trustworthy.

The same principle should apply in other areas of their lives. Be careful about going into business with a person who will not keep their trade secrets. You can be sure that, that colleague who will not keep quiet about her private life, should you share candid details of your life with her, will freely share it with others.