Time to shed off the peel for the flesh

“Whether you have a Maruti or BMW, the road remains the same. Whether you travel economy class or business, the destination doesn’t change. Whether you have a Titan or a Rolex the time is the same.

Whether you have an Apple, Samsung or Lava people who call you remain the same. There is nothing wrong in a luxurious life. What needs to be taken care of is to not let the need become greed. Need can always be met but greed can never be fulfilled.”  Rajinikanth

Last week I gave a talk at the Top 40 under 40 Women’s dinner. My message was summed up in an orange. Yes, the fruit. We buy oranges because we are attracted to the peel. Especially the perfectly round oranges with a healthy orange colour. However, when we bite into that orange, the peel doesn’t matter. The colour and roundness of the peel no longer matters. What matters is the flesh, the substance of the orange. Is it juicy and tasty?

It is the peel that attracted us to that fruit vendor, but it is the flesh, not the peel, that will keep us going back. However, in life people tend to look at things upside down; they forget to focus on the substance of life and get caught up in the peel. And you wonder why we are unhappy.

Borrowing from the quotation at the beginning of this article, remember that the road will be the same no matter which car you drive. The car is the peel. The road and destination are the substance.

The flesh. There is nothing wrong with having a nice car, but it doesn’t make the road, neither does it change your destination. So do not be defined by the car or attach too much meaning to whether you are upgrading or downgrading.

Similarly, how you manage your time and what you achieve in that time, is more important than the type of watch you wear. God won’t give you extra minutes on this earth because you have a Rolex. Ditto, the people in your life are more important than the phone you have.

Do you spend more effort trying to acquire phones (and other material objects) or more effort on the people you love and trying to create memorable experiences with them? Remember the phone will not come to your funeral.

RIGHT MOTIVE

The motive for wealth creation should never primarily be about the peel.  As Rajinikanth says, we must be careful to not let the need become greed. If I want money so that I can buy the best car, I am in for a very unfulfilling journey. Car manufacturers will not stop producing just because you bought the latest car.

There will always be a better one out the next year. Let’s say my current definition of wealth is Sh20 million. When I do get it, I will probably want 30 million and then 40 million and so on. You probably know of or have heard of people who have so much money and have the best material things but they are still unhappy. Yet they think more money is what will make them happy.

On the same note, don’t let the peels deceive you that you are wealthy. Some people assume they are doing well just because of their job titles.

That again is a peel. The impact that you are having in that role is the substance. Your job title can be stripped from you. Ask anybody who has been retrenched about the immediate loss of identity they feel.  However, nobody can take away the impact you had in that role from you. No one can take away the skill you nurtured. Keep an eye on creating more impact rather than accumulating bigger job titles.

People who create impact tend to be more valuable to organisations and consequently get paid more.

So since the motive is not just about the money, you truly have to answer this question. What do you want? Remove all the answers that are peel-oriented. In our personal finance classes we have noticed that this is one of the hardest questions you can ask someone.

Remove the “I want money, a big job, a corner office, a nice house, a nice car, etc.” What is left? If at the end of your life, a movie was made about you, what would it look like? Is your movie interesting or will the viewers fall asleep? Upgrading of cars, clothes and houses can only hold the movie viewers attention for so long. What will the viewers see you experiencing? What did you contribute to humanity? No one can answer this for you.

Not your parents, your spouse, your boss or teachers. You’ve got to do it and connect with what you value.

Then you will understand the context of wealth and money in your life. You may come to understand that making money in a way that takes copious amounts of time away from your family is not what you want. You may come to realise that you’d rather cut down entertainment and go on holiday every year. You may realise that you are willing to go without certain things now to ensure you have investments that can sustain your desired lifestyle in five years.

You may realise that your current social circle is full of peels and adds no substance to your life. You may realise that moving to another job for a nominal increment doesn’t make sense because your current job brings more substance – flexibility, training, networks, growth, etc. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the attractive peels in our life. We will have them and want them one time or another.

That’s ok. Go get them. But there has to be more than just peels. Once you are aware of substance you desire, you will know which peels you can let go of or the ones that are hindering you from enjoying a fulfilling and significant life.

For example, borrowing heavily to fund peels (items to flaunt) doesn’t make sense. You know what to prioritise at your current season in life.

You also need to have the correct relationship with the peel; remember it does not define you. Whether you are in a Maruti or BMW does not make you feel superior or inferior. Awareness is always the greatest agent for change. Become aware of your true substance today.