Why won’t my husband support me?

Q: My man and I have been living together for three years now and something feels off. When I moved in with him he told me to quit my job so I could stay home and take care of the house and our family. He said he had enough money to take care of me, and he loved me so much that he didn’t want me being stressed by work and deadlines. Now we have a one-year-old; he refuses to leave me money for incidentals. He does all the shopping for the house – but he only buys what he thinks we need, not what I tell him we need. He says he doesn’t trust me because I am ‘wasteful’ with money. I have to beg for money to buy underwear. He takes care of our son very well – buys him clothes, shoes and special baby food. I feel like he just brought me in to be his baby bearer and not his partner. Is there something wrong here? What should I do about it?

EXPERT ADVICE

Maurice Matheka, a relationship counsellor answers:

Yes indeed, there is something wrong with your relationship and it stems from the fact that you went into your current predicament without thinking it through. You assumed a lot in regards to your partner. You most likely thought he would be a practical loving character whom you would live in harmony with. In my opinion he is either a control freak or a man who was not prepared to share in the dynamic of partnership. Your efforts to change his mindset may be futile unless he decides to change on his own. What you need to do is tell him that you did not subscribe to a partnership where he is in control of everything. It is equally important for you to ask him why he got into this union if he can’t trust you with finances.