Why you should sever all links with your ex

According to the researchers, constant contact with an ex is harmful to a current relationship despite how bad that past relationship was. PHOTO | FILE

What you need to know:

  • The researchers found that nearly half of the subjects still keep in touch with their former spouses or partners. A whopping 90 per cent reported talking with their exes once every few months, while 13 per cent were in touch with former partners several times a week.
  • While some people gave friendship as the motive for keeping these relationships, a significant number said they were unsure how their current relationship would turn out and wanted to have a backup plan in the event that things went south.

They say that staying friends with an ex is a sign of maturity, and if both parties have moved on, it has no adverse effects on a current relationship. Turns out that the opposite is indeed true. Findings of new research suggest that people who remain friends with their exes do it with the subconscious intention of keeping a back-up plan. In the long-term, these friendships with the exes will negatively affect a romantic relationship.

This is according to a new study by a team of researchers from South Florida University in the US. For the study, 429 people were interviewed about their current relationships and their relations with past lovers.

Unsurprisingly, the study found that Facebook and texting has made it not only easier to keep in touch with exes, but also harder to move on from past relationships.

PLAN B

The researchers found that nearly half of the subjects still keep in touch with their former spouses or partners. A whopping 90 per cent reported talking with their exes once every few months, while 13 per cent were in touch with former partners several times a week.

While some people gave friendship as the motive for keeping these relationships, a significant number said they were unsure how their current relationship would turn out and wanted to have a backup plan in the event that things went south.

Interestingly those individuals who have those rosy memories and feelings about past relationship with their exes are the ones that are least committed to their current relationships. Also, those who kept close contact with their exes reported lower commitment levels to their current partner, poorer adjustment after the breakup and more romantic inclinations to the exes.

According to the researchers, constant contact with an ex is harmful to a current relationship despite how bad that past relationship was.

“Individuals who continue to communicate with ex-partners post-breakup continue to have romantic feelings for their ex-partner longer and experience greater sadness than those who terminate contact.  ,” warns Professor Lindsay Rodriguez who led the study.

According to these findings, for the current relationship to remain strong, then all other desirable alternatives, like a friendly ex, should be gotten rid of.