RESEARCH CENTRE: It’s important that your man likes your friends

Does your man like your friends? No? Well, this could be a sign that there are very tough times ahead in your relationship. According to recent study findings, how long a couple stays married depends not only on how well they get along with each other but also on how well a man gets along with his woman’s friends. Apparently, if your man disapproves of your friends in the first year of marriages your risk of divorce doubles.

For the study, researchers from Adelphi University in New York analysed data from 355 heterosexual couples. The research was collected over a 16-year period. During the first years of marriage, the study subjects were asked how many friends their spouse could call for help and advice. They were also asked to tell whether their spouse had friends who the study subjects would rather their partner did not spend time with. As their marriages progressed, the study subjects were then asked whether they felt that their spouses’ friends had interfered with the relationship. The researchers then compared the answers that the men and women separately gave with the likelihood of divorce.

The researchers observed that when it came to divorce, a man’s feelings towards his wife’s friends was a huge determinant. For instance, in seven out of every 10 couples where the husband was happy with the friends that his wife kept, the couple stayed together for over 16 years. However, in relationships where the husband disproved of his wife’s friends, only just over 50 per cent of couples were still married after 16 years.

Interestingly, a woman’s dislike for her man’s friends did not interfere with the strength of her relationship with her husband.

THE SCIENCE BEHIND IT

After analysing the findings, the researchers conclude that the role of friendship when merged with romantic relationships is rising.

To explain these findings, the researchers note that nowadays, couples are less likely to meet through friends and more likely to meet online meaning their networks of friends will be different and a couple’s choice of friends may clash.

They recommend that instead of couples seeing their friends as a hindrance in their marriages, they could re-frame their relationships to begin seeing the benefits that individual friendships could add to a marriage. It could also work for a relationship if a couple merged their networks of friends.