HEART ADVICE: Why won’t my boyfriend talk to me?

I love him a lot but I am starting to wonder if the constant exposure to each other at work has made him bored. PHOTO| FILE

What you need to know:

  • That you work together could have created a rift over a period of time so I suggest you ask him how he feels about you and if there is something bothering him about your relationship.
  • It is far better to ask him rather than speculate at this point. Men are usually not forthcoming when things are not working, hence his behaviour.

Q: Hi Maurice. I am a single mother of a one-year-old girl. Before I gave birth I had this male friend – we were just casual friends. He is a doctor. I delivered at his hospital. A few weeks later my daughter got sick and I rushed her to the same hospital. After that our relationship became more intimate and we started dating. He would text me sweet things and we would talk for hours on the phone. He treated me like a queen. He loves my daughter and that has made me love him more. I was later transferred to work under him. We saw each other daily but the calls and texts have stopped. I love him a lot but I am starting to wonder if the constant exposure to each other at work has made him bored. He has even started skipping work regularly. I am scared of losing him. Please advise me.

READERS’ ADVICE

Work relationships always pose challenges. You now see each other quite often and both of you are getting to learn each other. Most relationships at work places fail to develop because of the underlying secrets both partners keep and eventually start popping up when you are constantly exposed to each other. It is important to talk to him and find out the affecting factor in your relationship. Let him know that you are in love with him and would want to take your relationship to the next level. Let him know that you appreciate him and the sudden change is really affecting you. If he truly loves you, then things will certainly improve with time. Good luck. Calvin Queens, via email.

 

It’s sad, but don’t give up try talking to him; meet with him talk face to face. It’s still too early to give up. Maybe he needs some space – maybe he is suffering personal problems with family, for example, and he doesn’t want to involve you. Who knows? Vivian Aluse, via email.

 

Working under the man you are dating is tricky, even to him, but if indeed you are in love with him, then you need to have a conversation with him. Let him explain to you the reasons why he skips work and why he no longer gives you long calls and texts. He might have genuine reasons behind his actions and as a grown up, I believe he will make you understand. However, if you believe your relationship will work but find it hard to work under him, then you can request for transfer to another work station that will not put pressure on both of you and your relationship in general. Juma Felix, via email.

 

Men are real pretenders. Wait till he gets what he’s after. He will vanish as quickly as he appeared in your life. Irene Kimani, via Facebook.

 

EXPERT ADVICE

Maurice Matheka, a relationship counsellor answers:

A: It sounds to me as if one of you took the relationship more seriously than the other. That you work together could have created a rift over a period of time so I suggest you ask him how he feels about you and if there is something bothering him about your relationship. It is far better to ask him rather than speculate at this point. Men are usually not forthcoming when things are not working, hence his behaviour. Have a sit-down and hear him out so that you can agree on your future together.