PLAIN TRUTH: Don’t get your honey where you get your money

You may feel the need to supplement your income, but don’t do it by selling your body to your colleagues.

I witnessed a most interesting confrontation this week. A woman in her 30s was demanding money – Sh3,000 – as payment for a sexual encounter she had with a man. The interesting bit was this: these two are colleagues.

I have always had conflicting feelings regarding office romances but I think that if a couple can maintain professionalism, purposeful dating can work. Casual sex with colleagues is something I highly discourage. I think it is a bad idea. I however can’t understand how a woman decides that it is wise to sell sex to her colleagues.

LONG DISCUSSION

I had a long discussion once with a man who was shacking up with a sex worker in Nairobi. They had been together for more than a year and the woman had recently given birth to their child. How does it work? I wanted to know. He told me that they compartmentalized segments of their lives. What she did at work stayed there and when she came home, she was his wife.

This arrangement seemed to be working for them and their relationship, but I don’t think simply compartmentalising can apply when it comes to the work place. Getting intimate with your colleagues for cash is something that no woman should be doing.

WHAT HAPPENS AFTER?

Here is why: For the woman who gets paid for sex, one imagines that money is the main motivation. For the man, it is to fulfil a physical or emotional need. But what happens thereafter? A man who has paid for sex tells me that he feels empty afterwards; another tells me that he felt disgusted with himself and her.

Also, there is always the chance that such arrangements made at the work place will blow up in your face. Worse still, making such a decision could stall your career growth.

SEXUAL HARASSMENT

We all know that how far ahead a woman gets in the work place today has a lot to do with perceptions, with how she comes off to those around her. It will be difficult for a man who has traded your body for cash to see you on a professional level or to respect you as a professional.  It is also likely to open the flood gates of sexual harassment directed not only at you, but at other women in your work place. Sure, you will get a few extra thousands in your pocket but you will be bringing down all the women like you who are working alongside men and fighting for fairness.

I am not one to tell you what you should do with your free time. Whatever it is that you want to indulge in, however, it is best if you do not do it with your colleagues or with your business associates.