ARUNGA: Why are men in showbiz behaving badly?

What you need to know:

  • Can I just state that cheating is never a solution, and if you want to be with someone else, just leave the first person alone?
  • Objectively, though, no matter how many movies we watch and how many showbiz busts we read, it’s never that simple. If it was that simple, more people would do it. I hope he isn’t cheating.
  • I hope there’s a perfectly logical explanation as to why he was sitting in some girl’s lap, other than the car was full and he’s front-seat size.

First of all, on principle, we need to all stop listening to R. Kelly. Huey was right. Did you use to watch Boondocks? You know that clip that always resurfaces every time R. Kelly does something stupid and paedophilic? It is always right. That clip is always relevant. R. Kelly needs to be put away. He needs to get help. He needs to be counselled and rehabilitated. He needs to be introduced to older women. And we need to stop buying his music. This man has been at this game since Aaliyah, if not before Aaliyah. If their underage illegal marriage (she was 14) was not the first sign, and the song he wrote for her, creepily named “Age Ain’t Nothing But a Number”, all the way down the slew of articles and incriminatory articles and exposes that have successfully followed him through the years, right up to the present day when it is revealed that he is running a controlling cult (who was surprised, though? Who?), then I really don’t know what is. I don’t know why this man is still walking around – in spite of the overwhelming evidence against him. I don’t know why people are still buying his music. I get separating the man from the music, but I think for some people, I can only do it for so long – especially when this man’s prolific child abuse has been going on and on for 20 years. This is what happens when you let a musical icon get away with crimes against humanity because he can sing a good gospel song. It’s ridiculous.

UNSURPRISING REVEAL

Then, the other thing I saw in the news today after R. Kelly’s heinous yet unsurprising reveal, was that Usher has been going around giving his poor fans and paramours herpes since 2010. Who does that? Once again, that’s illegal in California (I’m really loving California lately; they’re the ones who have the revenge-porn-is-illegal law too), because before we smack genitals, I’m supposed to at least tell you that I have something that you can catch. What Usher did, instead, was say that the green discharge from his penis (yes, you read that right) was something that was passing and that he had gotten over, and that it was nothing serious. Oh, herpes is serious. Herpes is so serious, in fact, that condoms only reduce the risk of its acquisition by 50%, because you can still get it through skin-to-skin contact, without the presence of open wounds. And let’s be honest, anything that produces green discharge and has no cure so basically lasts forever is not something you casually keep to yourself during sex.

CHEATING IS NEVER A SOLUTION

And finally, there’s a rumour circulating about the internet with a rather dodgy video as supporting proof that Kevin Hart may be cheating on Eniko, his second wife. The irony in this is unfortunate – he met her and started being with her when he was still with his then wife, and so, that ended. Can I just state that cheating is never a solution, and if you want to be with someone else, just leave the first person alone? Objectively, though, no matter how many movies we watch and how many showbiz busts we read, it’s never that simple. If it was that simple, more people would do it. I hope he isn’t cheating. I hope there’s a perfectly logical explanation as to why he was sitting in some girl’s lap, other than the car was full and he’s front-seat size.

In summary, date people your own age, tell the people you’re dating that you may have caught something and keep abreast of the type of karma that dictates that if someone cheats with you, it’s entirely possible that he’ll cheat on you as well. Not guaranteed. But a definite possibility, amirite?