The emerging everything-free society

There was a time in history when country-grabbing (an extreme form of land-grabbing) was in vogue.

Every country that had a Geographical Society and/ or a naval force kept these institutions busy searching for countries to burgle. As a direct result of these illegal activities, the years between 1940 and 1990 were years of turbulence, as millions of people around the world struggled to get their countries back.

Nowadays, it is pretty difficult to grab and keep a country, but human beings are still clamouring for freedom.

Cash-free society

The first thing that we want to be free of is money; Did I or did I not hear that we are aspiring to become a cash-free society?

(Okay, I know that it is normally termed “cashless society” but there is absolutely nothing new about a society having less cash then it had before.)

And we are succeeding in becoming cash-free, beginning with the disappearance of the five cent, ten cent and the fifty cent coin.

Indeed there are all sorts of things being done to discourage cash – including ensuring that there is never change to return to those who dare to make a payment using solid money.

Indeed people are so disgusted at being handed paper or metal money these days that I am thinking of designing a pair of tongs which can be used to handle it.

However, this is only delaying the inevitable because money as we know it is doomed.

Taste-free

Also in the works is the attempt to become a taste-free environment. Everything has become low-sugar or no-sugar, low-fat or no-fat – which generally translates to low-taste or no-taste.

With concentrated propaganda from the medical and fitness fraternity, taste-free food is rapidly becoming the only option. 

Is it any wonder then that the environment is quickly becoming smile-free? The pinched expression on the faces of many city-dwellers can be directly correlated to their diet of sour foods and their fat-free cheeks.

Child-free

Another disturbing development is the trend of becoming child-free. Just a few years ago you could unashamedly raise a bouncing family of eight children.

Nowadays society seriously frowns upon each additional child, and indeed some people have decided that they should tend towards zero in the offspring department.

Middle-aged people used to aspire to become grandparents. Now, all that many achieve is the privilege of becoming a grand-pet owner.

Brain-free

The most dramatic piece of progress is the rapidly emerging brain-free society.

The automation of everything leads to a state of affairs where doors open in front of you, toilets flush behind you, and lights switch on or off depending on whether you are entering or leaving a space. We are reaching the stage where human beings will have very little need for a properly functioning brain.

Talking of brains – the Winnipeg Free Press reports that a 50-year old British man recently had a one-centimetre tapeworm removed from his brain.

Apparently you risk getting tapeworms in your brain if you eat undercooked frogs or snakes, use frog meat for treating wounds, or drink contaminated water. Now honestly, how do you undercook a frog?

Protect your brain this Saturday.