Team that will take school to next level

As the whole country knows, we had a paradigm shift at Mwisho wa Lami Primary School at the beginning of this term following the transfers that saw several teachers imported to our school and others exported.

You will remember that the exports were Nzomo, Lutta, Madam Mary and Anita while those who came in are Sella, Kuya, Oscar and Lena. Also exiting the school were Rumona and Tito.

If you remember, Lutta and Madam Mary were busy trying to block their transfers at the County Education office while Mrs Atika was busy at the same office on an opposite mission — to look for a transfer as she has always wanted to join her husband in Nairobi.

By the end of the week, several changes had happened. Mrs Atika had failed to get a transfer even though her husband is a big man at the Education ministry headquarters.

Sources closer to the source whispered to me that Mr Atika has a resident wife in Nairobi, and will never allow his village wife to join him .

Also staying, to my relief, was Nzomo, who had been transferred to Mandera. She managed to convince officials that Mandera was dangerous. 

Ladies and gentlemen, allow me, therefore, to introduce to you the new faces of Mwisho wa Lami Primary School.

Mrs Skastina Majani: You already know Skastina, our female headmaster who was christened Bensouda due to her toughness.

Although she claims to have a diploma, those who know her well say that she started “U-teaching” after her A levels and was confirmed as a teacher after a two-week seminar.

No wonder she is always afraid of me, insecure that I would take over her job.

Dre, the Deputy: The Backbone of this school, yours truly, is undoubtedly the most important teacher to ever straddle Mwisho wa Lami school and its environs. A respected scholar at the world-renowned pedagogical Kenyatta University,

I am a decorated alumni of Mwisho wa Lami Secondary and Kilimambogo TTC. Resourceful, tall and handsome, Mr Dre has also, for the seventh year running, been observed as best smartly dressed teacher in our county and beyond. I am also ambitious, and the only walls I fit in are walls of a lecture hall, not a classroom. Watch this space.

Madam Ruth, Senior Master

Madam Ruth was a bright and beautiful lady until she, unfortunately and hurriedly, got married to Juma, our former HM.  I was an interested party, but nowadays I wonder what I had seen in her – because there is nothing.

She went to Machakos TTC, where she passed by a whisker, and she was only made the senior master following the influence of her husband. With Sella and Nzomo around, I can assure you that she is just warming that seat for one of the two.

Mrs Atika, Director of Studies

The longest-serving teacher  who also taught me here over two decades ago, we only call her director of studies to make her feel good for she directs nothing. Mrs Atika teaches lower classes only. No one knows where she went to college, if she ever did, and she will remain a teacher at Mwisho wa Lami until she retires. Her husband prefers it that way.

Sella: This is the teacher to watch at Mwisho. Everyone knows she was my deskmate in secondary school but very few know that we were also mates in many other things that I will not mention here.

After secondary school, she worked in several hotels before joining Tambach TTC, and is currently pursuing a degree at Maseno University. Yes, she beat me in KCSE by five marks, but I am better than her since I am told that in educational and pedagogical foundations, Kenyatta University is miles ahead of Maseno University. Maseno is only good at theatre and drama. I am already grooming her to be the next DoS and then Senior Master.

Nzomo: This is the flower of my eyes at Mwisho wa Lami. For obvious reasons including her sparkling beauty, Bensouda does not like her. Born in Nunguni, and brought up in Nakuru town, she went to Kaimosi TTC, making her the most travelled teacher around – after me. Her fundi seems to always run out of material every time he is making her dresses and skirts, as a result of which they are always very short and tight – to the benefit of my eyes.

Saphire: His real name is Mr Menge, but he became Saphire after he fell in love with Saphire, a drink that was popular a few years ago. Although he has been my friend for years, I have never seen him sober, and those who have met him sober say that he is never himself and is always trembling.

He has been interdicted and reinstated a record three times — and I can bet it will happen again. Saphire was very bright in high school, and missed joining university by one point. Disappointed, he took to drinking.

You will be lucky to see him in this school thrice a week, and forget about seeing him in school in the afternoons: and that is why he only teaches lower classes, so that he can go to Hitler’s in the afternoon. He once tried to marry but it did not work.

Kuya: One of the new teachers who joined us. The one thing I have heard about him, which I am yet to confirm, is that he has previously been interdicted and reinstated twice – due to CK – a teaching profession technical term that I will not explain to non-professionals. He seems serious from the few interactions I have had with him.

He wears tight jeans, tight T-shirts that show his big muscles, is clean-shaven and applies very strong marashi like a woman. He also has a finger-touch phone, and is always listening to music using microphones connected from his phone to his ears. I don’t know if I need to be worried or not.

Oscar and Lena: Oscar was only around for two days. He then told us that he had a personal problem that he needed two weeks to resolve.

I had denied him permission, but Bensouda overruled me, and allowed him to be away.

The only thing that I noted about him was that he frequently walked out of the staffroom to go smoke. From what I smelt, I am convinced he was taking locally made cigarettes, especially since he also was seen at Nyayo’s, a known vendor of natural cigarettes. 

Lena disappeared the day she reported, only coming for staff meetings. Rumour had it that she was also camping at the County Education office, looking for another school. Rumour or no rumour, Lena needs to do something about her unkempt hair.

Erick: This was also another new teacher who just reported last week. Erick is saved, always has his Bible in his hand, and because of him, we have prayers every morning, evening, at meetings and on parade days. He has also started Christian Union Club. A student told me that he spends more time preaching than teaching.

Last week, we had our first brand new staff meeting, an interesting one going by the past meetings. We also were informed that two new teachers will be joining us on Teaching Practice.

Bensouda had invited a photoman and after the meeting, we all stood outside the office for a group photo. As the best dressed teacher, I stood out. Nzomo also stood out for obvious, colourful reasons.

Now sit back, and see for yourself as this new fresh staff takes Mwisho wa Lami Primary School to new heights and beyond.