Writing courses: To do or not to do, that is the question

I recently had a friend ask me whether they could learn how to be a writer. Could they go and do a Masters in Creative Writing at a university and then after being done, become the next Hawa Golakai, Nuruddin Farah or Zadie Smith.

I did not have to think about it for long before I answered with a resounding ‘No.’ I knew the person I was talking to. I had shared conversations with them many times before.

You know that famous miraa joke?

No?

Okay. So these two young men arrive on River Road in the afternoon to while away time chewing a bag of miraa awaiting their night bus to Mombasa.

When they finish chewing the contents of the bag, one guy suggests that they go and purchase another one while they still wait. The other guy argues, “no we can’t. It’s already evening. We have to go to the bus.” Guy one says, ‘no it isn’t. The sun is still shining.’

The argument goes back and forth until the two friends decide to settle it peacefully. They walk up to some stranger who is standing next to the trader they bought their miraa from.

‘Excuse me,’ one of them says to the stranger.

‘Yes?’ the stranger answers.

‘My friend and I are having a disagreement and we would like you to help us resolve it,’ friend One says.

The stranger nods his head indicating that they should go on and see how he can share his Solomonic wisdom to resolve the issue.

“We are unsure,” the second friend says hesitantly not wanting to be the one who is in the wrong. “Er we are supposed to be getting a night bus to Mombasa. I think we should get another bag of miraa but my friend here argues that it’s night already and we should go to the bus. So mzee,” he says clearing his throat, “please help us resolve this. Is it day or night?”

The stranger shrugs his shoulders and says, “I am sorry I can’t help you. I am not from here.”

Now this friend who asked me whether they could learn to write. I first heard this joke from them. They mangled it so badly that another friend had to repeat it in order for all who were around them to find it funny.

Had I encouraged them to go and do that Creative Writing course, this friend would have ended up like the character of the mathematician in Zimbabwean writer Tendai Huchu’s The Maestro, The Magistrate & The Mathematician, “the type of virtuoso who

can play an instrument beautifully but cannot compose to save his life.” In other words, my friend is not a storyteller.

Their school attendance to learn writing would only result in their having the technical ability but would not miraculously give them the ability to tell a story.

I do not always answer the question this way though. In every village and town on earth, there is that woman, man or child who can enchant her or his listeners with a story as ordinary as walking to the kiosk and buying sugar.

This person, in my opinion, can be nurtured to become a writer because it is already in their nature.

They have the ability to tell a story and as far as writing goes, may only need the technical know-how of the difference between the spoken and the written word that would make it more engaging to the reader.

Writers like Yewande Omotoso, Ekow Duker and Margie Orford are some names that come to mind when I think of writers that took up Creative Writing as a course. And their works are admirable.

But I really believe that a major reason why they have become as successful as they have in their writing has less to do with their having taken the classes and more with their storytelling abilities.

I know, from having been an external examiner for the Masters of Creative Writing at University of Cape Town, that these writers were not the only students in their classes. But I doubt that they are any universities that will say no to anyone who wants to give them money. So universities will allow people like my friend to enrol. And my friend will assume that because he loves reading, that makes him a writer.

Unfortunately, this is not always true. You have to love reading to become a writer but not everyone who loves stories can tell stories.

Zukiswa Wanner is a South African author based in Kenya. [email protected]