How to avoid getting dozens of glasses as wedding gifts

When Kenyans planning to get married began handing out lists of the presents they wanted on their wedding day, I was one of those people who thought this was taking it shamelessly too far.. PHOTO | FILE |

What you need to know:

  • I am all for typing out a grand list of what you want.

  • People may snort with disbelief, but at least you won’t be getting any unwanted presents.

When Kenyans planning to get married began handing out lists of the presents they wanted on their wedding day, I was one of those people who thought this was taking it shamelessly too far.

Why dictate to people what you want yet you are not paying for it? What happened to the good manners of allowing people (who are gracious enough to attend your wedding) to give from the goodness of their hearts?

This was my reasoning until someone I know confided in me that she and her husband had received a pickup-full of cheap glasses for their wedding.

She had been appalled, wondering what to do with all those glasses, most the kind that you would never serve guests with. In fact, the only remotely functional gift they received was a vase.

Assorted gifts

Besides the glasses, she also got seven plastic wall clocks in assorted colours, and to make matters even worse, two of them were similar, and probably bought from the same place.

She also got a couple of wall hangings which, according to her, were the kind that were uninspiring to look at and, therefore, best shoved under the bed.

It got worse. As is tradition where she comes from, her side of the family bought them a bed, a gift they did not need since she and her husband had long moved out of home before their marriage, meaning they already had two beds, and didn’t need a third.

She also got an assortment of cooking pots (between her and the groom, they had enough sufurias to last them a life time), a mwiko (pray, who doesn’t have one?) and a basket for going to the market with.

One might argue that these items have a traditional significance, but if you already have similar ones, of what use are the new items?

Against my better judgment, I feel compelled to confess that once or twice I have been guilty of buying a set of glasses as wedding presents.

As you can imagine, when my agitated friend told me about the zillions of useless glasses she got, I went a little red in the face when I recalled my thoughtless gifts to the unfortunate couples.

My apology

Please, allow me to use this opportunity to apologise, profusely, for buying you glasses; I now see how much my gifts contributed to the fading away of some of the afterglow that comes with getting hitched.

I was not enlightened then, and I hope that one day you will find it in your heart to forgive me.

That said, as this friend and her husband unwrapped the gaily wrapped gifts only to find yet another set of unattractive glasses, they started to wonder where to take them.

They were tempted to throw them out with the next day’s trash, but that would have been callous. After hours of coming up with possible solutions and discarding them, they stumbled on a brilliant one — nowadays, whenever they visit someone, they “thoughtfully” include a set of glasses in the shopping. It is working, because so far, they only have six sets to go.

Having seen the agony that stingy Kenyans put newly married couples through, I am all for typing out a grand list of what you want.

By all means, include even a car and a house — people might snort with disbelief at the level of your ambition, but at least you won’t be getting any unwanted glasses.

By the way, I recently heard about a couple that found tissue paper instead of money in some of the envelopes guests handed them on their wedding day.

Like today’s teen would ask, “Like, seriously?! Who does that?!”

 

FEEDBACK TIME!

  

You left me in stiches when you said you have never seen a Kenyan turn away a plate of meat. But imagine spending all that much feeding guests and all they talked about was missing chapatis. These are the guests who bring you a plastic jug in the name of a gift. They don’t talk much of how colourful the ceremony was but what was eaten and what was not. Mwongera

 

People will never be satisfied and no ceremony will go uncriticised.  Papoi

 

Kenyans are bad at appreciating a good thing. We only see the negative side. When you have plenty of food they will compain it was a waste and then they will pack and carry all the remains. In life it’s important to do what makes us happy and not try to impress others because they will always see the glass as half empty rather than half full.   Ngong’u

 

In our society, everyone gives you his two cents worth of advice. We also seem to detest progress. Bor

 

If you decide to involve the public, then be ready to cope with such negativity. I once heard about a man who attended funerals at his workmates’ homes, just to see if they had made any development at home. Wicuranie

 

Recently, I volunteered to clean the refrigerator, which is the most tiresome chore at home... everyone avoids it, and guess what? I was told it could have sparkled more if I’d also cleaned utensils and the floors.  Allan