It’s time every sane man came out boldly to shield us

Sometime back, I sent our house assistant to the kiosk around the corner. When she came back, she looked upset. She was on the verge of tears.

“What is wrong?” I asked her.

She tried to compose herself before responding.

“It’s this guy I met on my way to the kiosk who has insulted me.” It turned out she had bumped into a man who had taken an interest in her and had wanted her number. She had not been keen on giving it to him, and he had not taken it kindly, calling her unsavoury names.

I made what I now consider a very insensitive remark: “Nothing to worry about, he was smitten with you.”

This statement came to haunt me a week ago when I ventured out for a jog. I was enjoying the quietness and the fresh air, when I realised that a group of young men at a car wash were staring at me.

PRETTY UNATTRACTIVE

No one spoke as I breezed by, but I could feel their eyes on me. I felt insecure, exposed, like a lab rat finding itself in unfamiliar grounds.

Please note, I had on my hubby’s extra-large T-shirt and sports pants; pretty decent and quite unattractive, I assure you.

I soldered on, defiance spurring me on. This is a free country and I am a citizen of it. I have every right to take a peaceful walk on a public road.

I know that is a foolish thought, considering the cases of assault and violence against women that have made headlines of late, and others that we do not get to hear of.

But this did not stop me from carrying on with my jog, and on my second round at the car wash, there was the inevitable cat call and some whistles.

Then a voice piped out: “Niaje sistee!” (Kiswahili slang for “Hello sister”). I waved and smiled to camouflage my emotions. That seemed to catch them off guard.

“How is job?” I asked in Kiswahili, slowing down, zeroing in on one young man. There was silence before he finally found his voice. “Not so good. Weekends are always best.”

“Not to worry, weekend is not too far off.” I replied.

They were no longer hostile. In fact on my third round, they were back to minding their own business. But what if one of them had decided to pursue me, strip me? Would any among them stop him?

Being married, or pregnant, or older or clothed does not shield a woman from the cat calls and other types of harassment. There is no justification for stripping a woman, or making lewd remarks about her body.

POWERFUL CAMPAIGNS

While it is all nice to say that I can protect myself, as a woman, I need my husband, son, brother, or father who are gifted with physical strength to protect me.

My fellow women and I might hold all sorts of powerful campaigns urging protection for women, but without a man standing up against the psychopaths intent on hurting women and children, our campaigns will take decades to see any results.

Today, you ignored the tears of that unknown woman as she was harassed at the matatu stage. Tomorrow, other men will ignore the screams of your wife, daughter, sister or mother. She is a stranger to them.

It is not enough to protect only your own. The times call for every sane man to take up their God-given roles as protectors of society and just run with it, irrespective of whether it looks cool or not.