Let’s be real; we can’t just dress as we please

A lot has happened in the clothes department in the last couple of weeks. The long and short of it is; how long or short should clothes be?

While no one has the right to strip another person naked, we seriously need to talk about how and when we got here. Truth be told, some things we see on the streets leave little to the imagination and no, they are not a pretty sight. I call them things because “clothes” seems too generous. As my high school social studies teacher used to say, “You are what you wear.”

The ideology that what I wear affects no one and that nothing should influence my dressing except me and my preferences is not only wrong, but also untrue.

We live in a society with different cultures and much as we cannot please everyone, there are some basic dressing rules depending on when and where you are.

I once did a short term mission cause in Malkamanza, Garissa, among the Munyoyaya tribe. Much as I love my trousers, we had to adhere to the dressing rules there.

DECENT IS RELATIVE?

We all wore some loose-fitting dresses that looked like parachutes and covered our heads. Waving my #MydressMychoice placard there would have meant total failure of our mission and we would have been branded immoral and indecent. 

But that was there. What about when we come home. Back to the place where we know has seen some ray of the civilisation light, what should dictate what I wear when?

There should be a few things that advise our dressing. To assume we are not accountable to anyone and so we can dress as we please is wrong. And especially if “dressing as we please” means exposing parts of our body that are regarded as private in the society you live in.

A friend of ours told us of an experience she had while living in India. She had a white friend who had totally blended in with the Indian culture — she wore their clothes and ate their food and spoke their language.

Once as she boarded a bus, she raised her sari above her ankles to reach the steps better. Everyone in the bus screamed. In that part of the world, showing your ankles is taboo. Never mind that the whole of her midriff was exposed and no one thought that was inappropriate. 

So, what happens in a place like Kenya, where we really do not have an established code of dressing? Is it a licence for us to dress indecently? You might argue that decent is relative, but I tell you, it really isn’t.

DEVELOP A CONSCIENCE

A friend, John Gathuku, once told us that if you dress in such a way that people first see any other part of your body except your face, you are most likely indecently dressed! Some people are perverted and they will ogle even if you wear a kanzu, but I can’t find a better description of decency.

That said, develop a conscience too, and judge for yourself if people need to see "all that" as you walk around. Leave some things to the imagination and dress for the occasion.

We once went to the beach and there was this boy who was swimming fully dressed, complete with a sweater. Believe me, I felt like stripping him of that sweater and the T-shirt and the vest he was wearing beneath. But I didn’t. His dress, his choice, right?

Let us all show some sanity as we dress up, but if you don’t like what someone is wearing, look away and walk away. Stripping them doesn’t help and only makes you guiltier than they are.

If the motive is to instil a sense of decency, shaming someone doesn’t help. It only makes the rest of us even more rebellious. And we will dress in those things you hate just to prove we can. 

Just a thought, if God showed up today, or invited you for dinner, what would you wear?