Love is a contact sport, how good are you?
Who is touching who is another important question because it defines the role the touch is likely to play at that moment. FILE PHOTO | NATION MEDIA GROUP
What you need to know:
Who is touching who is another important question because it defines the role the touch is likely to play at that moment.
For instance, the touch of a lover might spark a pleasant feeling, while the same from an unwelcome source might elicit backlash.
Further, allowing every Tom, Dick and Harry to touch us sensually diminishes the value of such touch, might send the message that we are loose or desperate and even worse, might expose us to those who seek to misuse and abuse us.
One of the ways in which sports can be categorised is by the number of times contestants come into contact with one another.
Examples of contact sports included rugby, wrestling and boxing, while non-contact sports include tennis, swimming and gymnastics.
What has this got to do with love and relationships? You could be wondering. Well, love is like a sport, a contact sport to be precise. Hear me out.
Let me begin by stating that my general conviction is that touch is an essential part of this game, but can at the same time ignite a fire, capable of consuming every dream we ever had of happily-ever-after.
That can be avoided if we observe the 5 ‘Ws’ and ‘H’ protocol of touch, which I will briefly discuss below.
The first is what. In essence, there are different types of physical contact between human beings
In the context of love, romance and relationships, of interest to me today is sensual touch, the kind of touch that either intentionally or unintentionally arouses emotions in a person.
Sensual touch could be anything as simple as a handshake, because when someone is in love, there is nothing like a simple handshake, it is always a statement!
WHO IS TOUCHING WHO?
Who is touching who is another important question because it defines the role the touch is likely to play at that moment.
For instance, the touch of a lover might spark a pleasant feeling, while the same from an unwelcome source might elicit backlash.
Further, allowing every Tom, Dick and Harry to touch us sensually diminishes the value of such touch, might send the message that we are loose or desperate and even worse, might expose us to those who seek to misuse and abuse us.
When to touch is something else to consider. In modern relationships, first encounters could end up practically anywhere on the touch scale, very often leading to unintended consequences.
In my opinion, strong relationships are those that delay sensual touching to the appropriate moment, gradually opening doors and windows as the relationship matures.
Next is the where of touch, referring both to the location and circumstances of the touch, as well as the actual part of the body that is being touched. Let us face it; touch is exciting for lovers, but it must be practiced appropriately and with decorum.
Why touch? The challenge with this issue is that unless there is a mutual understanding regarding touch, intentions are known only to the one touching.
This calls for transparency between couples so that the meaning of touch is not either missed or misinterpreted.
Partners need to be of one mind to define the meaning and extent of touch so that no one feels ‘used.’
Finally, how to touch. At this point, it is assumed that all the other questions have been answered and the lights are green for touch.
Don’t hold your breath now, I am not about to begin a lesson on how to touch; that is a story for another place.
What must be said here is that essential touch in a relationship is deliberate and consistent , and communicates love, care, concern, and very important, presence.
As a conclusion, I reiterate that love is indeed a game of contact. So if you are in a relationship, take touch seriously, and you will be on the way to building a successful relationship.
