Men desire respect more than they need affection

It sounds obvious, but you need to respect one another if you want your relationship to be successful. ILLUSTRATION|IGAH

What you need to know:

  • Men also need time to think. When something’s bothering you, you want to talk about it.

  • Your man needs to consider the problem first. So let him know you need to talk. But don’t insist on starting before he’s ready.

  • Men are taught all their lives not to admit weakness. So he won’t tell you everything he’s thinking about, especially if he’s worried.

It sounds obvious, but you need to respect one another if you want your relationship to be successful.

Respect’s particularly important to men, and especially anywhere the rule of law’s shaky.

Years ago, that was a matter of life and death, but even now men are hugely sensitive to the slightest hint of discourtesy. It’s hard for women to understand that, and so it often causes a lot of problems.

It’s all too easy to take your partner’s achievements for granted — so he feels you don’t appreciate how hard he works. Or what he does for you. Show him how much he means to you, every single day.

You’re endlessly nagging or being negative? You won’t be together for long.

And do you know how important your smile is? Show your man that you’re happy and he’ll be far more loving. In fact, it’s hard to build a successful relationship with a man if you’re always dissatisfied and down.

NEED TIME TO THINK

Men also need time to think. When something’s bothering you, you want to talk about it.

Your man needs to consider the problem first. So let him know you need to talk. But don’t insist on starting before he’s ready.

Men are taught all their lives not to admit weakness. So he won’t tell you everything he’s thinking about, especially if he’s worried.

He’ll rarely say he misses you, or give you nearly enough compliments. That’s just not the male way.

Respect needs to be mutual, of course. So, expect your man to be as considerate and compassionate to you as you are to him.

And when differences arise, argue respectfully. Starting with “that’s a ridiculous idea...” won’t lead anywhere good. Instead, listen well to each other, and try to find solutions you’re both happy with.

Pick your battles. Know when to fight for what you need. And when it’s better to, let your partner have what he wants.

Think about where you’re both coming from whenever there’s a disagreement or you need to make a decision — like if your ex’s in town and you want to meet up, think how you’d feel if the situation was reversed.

Be accountable for your actions. If one of you comes home late without calling, the other will feel disrespected. And everyone needs privacy, so neither of you has the right to snoop through the other’s phone.

Respecting your partner also means only wanting the best for them — never putting them down or making them feel that they can’t reach their dreams.

Don’t demean your partner in public, or snipe at them behind their back. Raise any issues in the privacy of your own home.

Above all else, respecting your partner means being honest. So never lie about where you went last night, or how you spend your money, or do anything that would make them distrust you.

And it sounds terribly unfair, but remember that a man’s need for respect is even greater than yours!