My boyfriend wants control of my money

I have been dating this guy for three years now. I am 35 years old. He is not as financially stable as I am. He has been managing most of my property and my business. FILE PHOTO |

What you need to know:

  • The best way to handle an abusive boyfriend is to not deal with one. This is the only way to be free of any negativity and feelings of worry about being controlled by him.

  • You say you see him as your future husband; you must know that if he is controlling you while in a relationship, chances are things will be worse when you get married.

  • It is also very important that you evaluate the whole situation and check if your boyfriend loves you for what you have or for who you are.

Q: I have been dating this guy for three years now. I am 35 years old. He is not as financially stable as I am. He has been managing most of my property and my business.

Lately he has become a nag. He wants to be out with my car most of the time and when I refuse, he becomes furious, saying that I don’t love him. We hang out around joints on weekends and I now realise that he has a big eye for the ladies.

When I confront him he lashes out and calls me names. I feel controlled and I unhappy. I love this man and he knows that. I see him as my future husband. What should I do?

 

A: From the look of things, you are already trapped in an unhealthy relationship. This is based entirely on how your relationship was founded. Although you are committed to this relationship, your boyfriend is not as committed as you are.  He wants to manage your property and when you resist, he becomes furious.

This indicates that he is already controlling you especially after realising that you really love him as you say.

The best way to handle an abusive boyfriend is to not deal with one. This is the only way to be free of any negativity and feelings of worry about being controlled by him.

You say you see him as your future husband; you must know that if he is controlling you while in a relationship, chances are things will be worse when you get married.

It is also very important that you evaluate the whole situation and check if your boyfriend loves you for what you have or for who you are.

Would he still be in this relationship if you were a woman with no money or property? It is bad to be in a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship, and worse to still cling to it. Leaving will demand a concrete decision on your part to leave.

While deciding to leave, emotions could cloud your judgement.

Therefore you need to find out what is going on within yourself to understand why you are remaining in this unhealthy situation.

Rebuild your self-esteem and believe that you are a great woman who deserves a man who will honestly love her.  Counselling may help you in this process. My best wishes.