Incest: The new fashion?

Incest is taking on a new form in Kenya. It is becoming the norm rather than the exception.

Too many fathers and relatives are crossing long-held traditional boundaries and defiling their daughters, sometimes younger than five years old.

Incest, which is sexual activity between two people who are considered, for moral and genetic reasons, too closely related to have such a relationship, is regarded as a serious taboo in almost every society.

But teenage girls and minors are suffering the brunt of amorous relatives and are being reduced to psychological suffering of a lifetime.

The cases are numerous.

Last month, Kamulat Village in Uasin Gishu district woke up to the shock of the defilement of a 10-year-old girl allegedly by an uncle.

The Standard Four pupil is said to have been lured on a Sunday morning by the relative into a secluded hut where he repeatedly raped and injured her. He then dumped the minor at the door of her home with a stern warning not to tell anyone.

The girl had to undergo reconstructive surgery at the Moi Teaching and Referral Hospital in Eldoret.

When the mother of the girl, Ms Prisca Chelimo heard of the defilement, she was dumbfounded.

“I could not imagine that my own relative would do such a thing to my daughter,” she said.

Surprisingly, a number of Ms Chelimo’s family members were opposed to having the sex pest apprehended, on grounds that it would amount to ruining one of their own. Earlier efforts by villagers to arrest the culprit were thwarted by a family conspiracy and determination to protect him.

"In fact, on the insistence of Ms Chelimo that the suspect be taken to police, one of the immediate family members who had offered some money for the victim’s medication demanded it back.

At one point the family intercepted members of the public who had arrested the culprit at Kamurgor trading centre before engaging them in a fierce struggle and succeeding in setting him free.

“I received a phone call when I was on my way to the chief’s office in Turbo. When I came back, I found the suspect had been released. The public had arrested him as he tried to flee but family members intervened and set him free,” Mr William Maiyo, Kaptabee sub-location assistant chief said.

And in another case, recently, a 30-year-old man was charged in a Nyahururu court for repeatedly defiling his five-old daughter. His wife had woken up to find him defiling the child, amid cries of pain.

Prior to that and in another court in Bomet, Mr Shaban Kipkorir Kilel was charged with having carnal knowledge of his 11-year-old daughter at Chebunyo village in Bomet District. His wife testified that he had committed the act.

More recently, in August, the Western provincial children office decried the high rate of killing of children born out of incest in the area.

The children’s officer, Mr Isaac Ochanga, said such children were being killed according to tradition as they were considered as outcasts.

They are either strangled or abandoned in the bush soon after being born to save the family from perceived curses. Mr Ochanga said the province recorded over 39,000 cases of children abandoned in the last two years. These and many cases show a worrying trend of incest, he said.

In Nyahururu, a Form Two student in a secondary school there delivered a baby girl. Teachers at her school said that she was unable to concentrate on her studies.

She suffers from low self-esteem and has been lonely, they said. She has also complained to teachers about what she described as constant mental disorders and hallucinations.

Her 55-year-old father is now at the Nyahururu jail, where he was remanded till the conclusion of the incest case, currently pending before a Nyahururu court.

Bizarre story

Further away in Austria, the world was shocked last April by an extraordinary and bizarre story of an Austrian man who imprisoned his daughter in his basement for 24 years while sexually molesting her, and in effect fathering seven children with her.

Josef Fritzel, a 73-year-old retired engineer in the town of Amstetten in Austria, confessed to drugging his daughter, Elisabeth, at the age of 18, imprisoning her in his basement, and then keeping her and the children in secret for 24 years.

Nobody, including the girl’s mother, Rosemarie Fritzel, seemed to know that the long-lost daughter was actually living right under their noses and was her father’s mistress.

Apparently, to cover his tracks, this incestuous sex pest lied to his wife that the daughter had run away and joined a cult at the time of her disappearance.

These twisted cases and many others have been a shocker for parents, especially mothers and a wake up call, that all may not be as it seems and that, incest is real.

It was a wake up call to the fact that right under our noses, relatives and even parents, especially fathers, may be committing these crimes.

What has left many begging for answers is the reality that many children suffer in the hands of the people supposed to protect them, those they are supposed to trust.

Researches being conducted have revealed that most children are abused by people they know, and fathers have been topping the list of these sexual abusers. Teachers are also on the blame list. This is because they spend many hours with the children.

A United Nations study on violence against children that was launched in Gigiri, last year, sent shock waves as fathers were indicted over incest.

According to that study, 75 per cent of incest in urban areas is by fathers, while 23 per cent is by uncles and other relatives. The study also showed that 83 per cent of child abuse occurred in the child’s home.

Dr Rose Odhiambo, a lecturer at Egerton University and the Director of Gender Department, says that the age of children being abused has been reducing at an alarming rate.

“We have cases of infants and babies falling prey. This is nothing to be happy about. Young boys are increasingly being abused. These are things we didn’t hear about a few years ago,” she said.

According to Prof Paulo Sergio Pinheiro, the UN secretary-general’s independent expert for the study, this violence is aggravated by silence, poverty, HIV and Aids, poor distribution of resources and non-access to schools.

Researches have also shown that deep-rooted culture could be one of the reasons for the rise of the vice. Nakuru resident judge Martha Koome, says that there is a general trend in society, which accepts or condones violence against children, especially when perpetrated by people who are part of their lives.

Dr Sobbie Mulindi, a psychologist, blames the rising incidents of incest on what he terms as skewed relationships and substance abuse. In many marriages, he says, you will find a partner who abuses drugs. “Substance abuse is a big problem in our society,” he says.

On skewed relationships, he says that whenever couples experience a problem, many do not have a place or anyone to turn to. He describes many marriages of today as fragile and in dire need of help. Whenever a problem has occurred in a home, many fathers, he says, vent their anger on minors.

Young girls, in such instances, are the ones who suffer most. And whenever it occurs, the child is coerced into keeping it a secret. Other than threatening the child with unknown consequences, an aggressor makes the child believe that the mother will doubt her story,” he says.

Many abusers use crafty methods such as gifts and privileges to advance their interests.

After succeeding, the abuser later coerces the child into keeping the relationship secret.

Such an abuser may threaten to withdraw the “favour” if the child considers telling it out. “The perpetrator would at times make the victim believe that the family might suffer untold consequences if the secret is let out,” he says.

Molestation may occur in a progressive way over time or might happen once. Many molested children suffer silently because of fear.

They often disclose the abuse to someone he or she thinks will not overreact to the revelation. They might mention it during casual play or when something bad about the abuse is mentioned.

A child might also refuse tell a parent for fear that she or he might not be believed or that he might be punished.

Some children give non-verbal clues through changed behaviour and might reveal their abuse after direct questioning.

Some experience a freezing response in their bodies that might inhibit their ability to fight or resist their molester.

Dr Mulindi cites another form of incest known as emotional incest. In this abuse, a parent relates to a child as a substitute for an adult partner. Emotional incest begins when a person loves a family member as a replacement or substitute for a partner.

In such a case, the child may become emotionally bonded to, and codependent on the parent. This kind of incest usually occurs before physical parent-child incest and spans generations.

The doctor says incest is psychologically harmful to the woman in later life, frequently leading to feelings of low self-esteem, unhealthy sexual activity, and contempt for other women and other emotional problems.

The symptoms of emotional incest include ‘specialness’: believing you are somehow special, and identity loss where the victim loses access to human qualities, resources and emotions.

Identity loss is a common consequence of trauma, incest, abuse and cult membership. Identity loss is often accompanied by addictive relationships and symptoms of passive aggression.

Dr Mulindi further says that as opposed to yesteryears where uncles and aunts among other close relatives would assist whenever there was a problem, nowadays there is no one to fill that gap. Neighbours who are expected to assist are concerned with their own problems and will not bother to know what is happening next door.

“There are neighbours who do not greet somebody living next door. In most cases, they do not even know each others names,” he says. In such cases, the troubled marriages feel isolated and as a result, an angered parent will look for an avenue to vent his frustrations.

All this is happening in Kenya despite the fact that the country has ratified the African Charter on the Rights and Welfare of the Child, passed the Children’s Act in 2001 and enacted the Sexual Offences Act in 2006.

These laws and treaties outlaw any form of violence against children. They further stipulate the kind of punishment for the offenders. But this has done nothing to stop the rise.

The fact that children are not given space to air their views in many communities implies that many children are violated and cannot report.

However, to check on these vices, the UN recommends 12 things to ensure the protection of children.

Among the recommendations are strengthening of national and local commitment to ending the vices, prohibiting all forms of violence against children and enhancing the capacities of all who work with and for children, creating child-friendly and accessible reporting systems and services and provision of recovery and social reintegration.

Although Kenya prides itself as having passed laws to check on violence against children, there are certain gaps which need to be filled.

It is also a fact that the law enforcers have been unable to effectively impose these laws. Many are now pegging their hopes on the 10th Parliament to prioritise legislation that affect the children and fill in the gaps.

“We also need to invest in the implementation and enforcement of the law. Although the Government has enacted policy guidelines in the area of education and OVCs, such policy direction is lacking in the regard of protecting children generally against violence, abuse and other forms of exploitation,” says ANPPCAN.

The Regional representative of Save the Children (Finland) Ms Ann Kahere, says a small fraction of acts of violence against children is reported and investigated.

“Much violence is hidden. All of these have devastating consequences for children’s health, development and well-being, now and in the future,” she said.

“We as parents, as government officials, as members of civil society and international community, have a duty to take action. We have a duty to ensure that no child needs to experience violence,” she told a recent conference on children.

Lady Justice Koome says that the domestication and harmonisation of laws will see Africa implement the action plan of Africa Fit for Children.

“Only the 53 African countries 41 member states have ratified the African Charter on the Rights and Welfare of the child. Children’s rights are seldom accorded the same priority that the society does for adults’ rights,” she pointed out.

To help overcome the problem, Dr Mulindi is also calling on churches to play a counseling role. He says that churches should strengthen outreaches and homes visits where couples would be counseled.

Troubled couples, he says, should also seek professional counseling as quickly as possible. “Somebody should not suffer in silence and later vent their anger on the innocent,” he suggested.

Child psychiatrists advice parents to communicate with their children and that nothing should be allowed to hinder their conversation. Dedicating a time to talk to a child to cultivate trust might prevent molestation.