The dilemma of lesbian schoolgirls

Rose* burst into tears as she poured out the suicidal thoughts overwhelming her in the counselling room in an upmarket suburb.

The 19-year-old schoolgirl with five same-sex partners — one of them 15 years her senior — was at her wits’ end. She could no longer stand her lesbian lifestyle, which was at odds with the norms according to which she was raised.

“How do I get out of this?” she asked clinical psychologist Dr Gladys Mwiti, the CEO of Oasis Africa, who says that Rose’s case is not unique. Rose couldn’t seek help from her parents, hence her trip to the counsellor.

Through a course of cognitive behavioural psychotherapy and religious guidance, the young woman was able to overcome her lesbian lifestyle, proving, according to Dr Mwiti, that homosexuality and lesbianism are not genetic, but learned behaviour.

“We know from behavioural psychology that what is learned can be unlearned,” she says.

Mwiti says that homosexuality and lesbianism are learned behaviours, which are validated in much the same way as people given to alcohol or drugs come to consider themselves alcoholics or drug addicts.

But while alcoholics and drug addicts can seek help through Alcoholics Anonymous and other rehabilitation programmes, “Homosexuals are taught to believe that they are normal”.

Living spoke to Dr Mwiti after a claim by Ms Loice Noo, a professional counsellor and Anglican Church of Kenya Sunday school teacher, during a different interview, that lesbianism was on the rise in girls’ boarding schools.

She blamed it on a crowded, mean-score-driven syllabus that denies children time to burn their pent-up sexual energies. Expressing concern over “the mean-score mania”, Ms Noo stressed the importance of recreation, including physical education and sports.

She noted that, in pursuit of academic excellence, schools were ignoring the physical, social, spiritual, and emotional aspects of children’s development, opening up avenues for sexual experimentation.

Ms Noo’s and Dr Mwiti’s sentiments are shared by Mrs Regina Wanderi, a family life counsellor with the Catholic Archdiocese of Nairobi. However, she attributes increasing lesbianism among schoolgirls to lack of awareness of their sexuality and how their bodies work.

Mrs Wanderi said that the girls seeking help from her tell her that they got into the habit to avoid Aids and pregnancy, but also because “It’s fun; I like it.”

The experts say it is quite normal for teenagers to feel sexually aroused, “especially when they are ovulating,” Mrs Wanderi adds.

A 13-14-year-old who does not feel sexually aroused would be considered abnormal, Dr Mwiti says. At such times, they are likely to become infatuated with males, and sometimes, with same-sex friends.

In boarding school, the attraction and infatuation may be directed towards other girls simply because they are there.