Your house-help is not a slave, pay her her dues

What you need to know:

  • Once in a while, have a day where she puts her feet up as you and the children do the cleaning, cooking and laundry. It teaches your children the value of work

For all working mothers (salute to all the single fathers out there, working or otherwise) house-helps are an essential part of the family equation.

Ideally, one wants a house-help who would look after the house affairs and the children as if they were hers, one who puts your mind at rest when you go about your day-to-day activities away from home.

What is shocking, though, is how badly some people will treat these important people. Nobody expects you to be your house-help’s best friend, but a friend she needs to be.

Here are a few tips towards achieving this:

1 Never hit your house-help, EVER! Besides this being abuse and illegal, it is humiliating. One way or the other, she will get back at you, and woe unto you if you have children.

2 Do not overwork her. If you cannot look after six children under the age of 10, fetch water, cook, feed the cows and clean the house on a daily basis, do not expect her to do the same. She is human, remember.

3 Set a good example to the children. They will treat her the way you treat her. And, in turn, she will treat them similarly in your absence. It is a cat-and-mouse, and there can only be one winner... and it is not you.

4 Do not make her your confidante. If you have a lover’s tiff, do not moan about it to her. House-helps talk amongst themselves, and unless you want your quarrel to be the talk of the block, keep your tiff to yourself or call a friend in private. It is also a no-no to fight in front of the house-help, because her respect for you both goes out the window.

5 Be civil. If she does something wrong, like all humans tend to do once in a while, do not shout at her or use foul language. Have a civil dialogue and explain why you are unhappy with her.

6 Do not underpay her. Most people think they have a good deal when they can underpay a house-help. Beside the fact that she will be keeping her ear to the ground for better pay, you will get worth of what you pay. If you can afford it, pay her well as this brews loyalty.

7 Give her a day off. You do not work seven days a week and, if you do, it is not out of choice. Everybody needs to recharge, and the time off gives you time to bond as a family.

8 Reward her. Once in a while, especially when she has been exemplary, buy her a dress. If she has children, do the same... or give her a bonus.

9 Take her along on your holiday. Should you have extra cash, let her accompany you on your trip to the coast. Not only will it give her a rare opportunity to travel, she will be handy in looking after the children should you have a night out.

10 Chip in with the housework. Once in a while, have a day where the house-help puts her feet up. You and the children do the cleaning, cooking and laundry. It teaches your children the value of work, while the house-help feels appreciated.

(Unfortunately, you can do all the above and more and still have the house-help from hell. If that happens, you are at liberty exonerate yourself from any blame).