Barbs and bouquets

The Oyunga awards is a self-promoting exercise that happens at the end of every year. Awards are given out to Kenyans and the odd foreigner from all walks of life who contributed marginally or notably to the making of compelling news over the year.

This year undoubtedly belonged to our sports personalities. In this time capsule, you will find the usual suspects, the inspirational, the braves and the annoying. Due to looming global recession, cash prizes will not be forthcoming. The list follows no particular order. Without further ado, let the roll call begin.

1. Samuel Wanjiru for supreme endurance that eventually resulted in Kenya’s first Olympic marathon gold in superb style and a new Olympic record to boot.

2. The bizarre occurrence of the year was that snow-like substance that fell over an area of 100 acres in Nyahururu. A real case of global warming.

3. James Kamangu Ndimu, the last man standing, the unlikely hero whose marital tribulations kept a nation fascinated for months. Rest in peace.

4. Harambee Stars coach Francis Kimanzi for the uncanny ability to remain calm under pressure and delivering results despite having one of the most stressful jobs in the country.

5. Barrack Hussein Obama for executing one of the most memorable political upsets in political history and reminding us that our best brains are still languishing in the Diaspora.

6. Michelle Obama for proving that having a strong woman to watch your back is an important ingredient in career advancement.

7. Jeff Koinange for bringing back the voice to our TV screens.

8. Professor Karega Mutahi for trying to wish away the flawed KCSE results as a mere ‘computer error’. That dumb excuse is set to jeopardise a generation of innocent high school students.

9. Martha Karua for proving that in politics, there are never permanent friends or enemies. Merely alliances of convenience and survival.

10. Media-savvy Mama Sarah Obama for maintaining decorum on her way to becoming the first grandma of the world’s most powerful economy.

11. Former Budalangi MP Raphael Wanjala and drama queen Joyce Akinyi Chinedu for illustrating that arrogance only counts if it cannot keep you out of an Indian jail.

12. Friday Nation columnist Clay Muganda for pointing out the difference between Kogelo and Nyangoma. The former is the clan that Obama Snr belonged to and the latter is the village where Mama Sarah Obama resides.

13. Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, for a series of dumb blonde moments proving that good looks and little sense is never an impediment to a high profile political career.