Why I did not support the sex boycott

Friday May 15 2009

By NJOKI KAIGAI

According to the grapevine, there is another sex boycott is in the offing, this time for a month. Though I believe in the end that this move seeks to achieve, I do not support the means — boycotting sex is not the way to advocate for better governance.

Sex (what it is, whether it is given or taken, when to have it or not to) is a highly emotive issue. Our sisters did not look at all these angles before declaring the boycott.

To begin with, the very idea of having the images of our two political principals in the bedroom borders on sacrilege. Whichever way you look at it, our two leading men are not going to win the prize for the World’s Sexiest Man any time soon.

If anything, they are better off competing for the position of World’s Cuddliest Leader. Now, telling me to use these men’s images (and actions) to decide whether to say yes or no to sex — which is usually pleasurable — is simply wrong.

Besides, most of our current socio-economic problems begin and end with these two men. Just thinking about their looks and what they represent is enough to kill our libidos forever.

Many women are willing to sacrifice almost anything for the future of this country, but losing our libido is a sacrifice for eternity, we cannot undertake. It is perfectly all right for our politician’ antics, drama and misdemeanours to annoy us in the sitting room, but for heavens’ sake keep them out of our bedrooms!

I do not welcome the boycott because it lacked clear guidelines on implementation. Our sisters needed to advise us on who the executor and recipient of the boycott instructions should be.

For instance, what is the use of wives boycotting while mipango ya kando have a field day. What happens if you do have a legitimate male sex partner, but are also in the habit of outsourcing? 

There was a feeling that if boycotts were extended all ways, there is a chance of competition creeping in, or of our being eliminated altogether. Someone should have come up with a plan that ensures minimal collateral damage following the boycott.

The boycott was founded on the premise that conjugal pleasures flow strictly in one direction, with only men desiring the fruits of “bednastics”.

This was an erroneous assumption; today’s women are notorious for actively seeking sexual pleasure. How, then, are we supposed to implement a boycott that could potentially harm us?

And once the woman has said no for the sake of leadership in this country, what happens to her unsatisfied needs. Indeed, men and women have been known to hurt others and themselves as a result of sexual frustration.

My sisters, many of us did not join you because we were scared that the pleasure void was too wide to be filled in the event of a full-blown boycott. If you are planning another boycott, I suggest you tell us how to deal with unutilised and frustrated bodily desires.

Also, please teach us how to say No because that was a big bone of contention. Many women wanted to support the cause but could not figure out how to say no.

This is compounded by the fact that local men believe in the power of taking rather than asking. In most cases, a nudge of the shoulder or a tap on the thigh is indication that a walk down the carnal path is about to begin. Somebody, please tell me how and at what point one is expected to register their intention to withdraw their participation.

How do you voice your boycott when the other party has taken a through pass position and is at the point of no return? Our sisters also know that at such moments, our men are as good as deaf to any protests.

How, then, do we communicate to them that we are saying no because we believe it will make our two principals see the light and change their ways? How does one broach the subject of democracy and leadership to a significant other who wants and demands instant gratification?

Maybe one of our sisters can advise us on the right phraseology and tone to use without bringing the Third World War to Kenya.

Perhaps, she can tell us how our sisters from sex boycott countries did it without being injured or maimed. Until we address these issues, I am afraid I shall sit out this — and every other — sex boycott.