How to trap that elusive man

• Ideas on how to get that man in your life to commit to you

Kenyans are famous for procrastination. Ask us to do anything and we will find a way of delaying or postponing it until the last minute. This annoying habit is second nature to our men who love to delay all matters that involve relationships and commitments.

Kenyan men are particularly notorious for evading rings, walks down the aisle and anything that has even the faintest scent of commitment.

It seems that our men believe they hold the monopoly on youthfulness. That is why they keep playing the field and hopping from one woman to another instead of settling down.

If you have a biological clock that is ticking and a family that is putting pressure for marriage, then you need to put aside your pride and use gentle force and persuasion to get him to commit. This is when one needs to adopt the policy of entrapment to get the man to marry you.

The first pillar of the entrapment strategy is to slowly move in. I doubt there is any Kenyan man who will give you an open-ended invitation to move into his quarters.

Many of them will happily enjoy the benefits that come with weekend visits which entail domestic services such as cooking, cleaning and, of course, the expected shag.

To begin with, one needs to expand the visits to include random weekdays like Mondays and Wednesdays. A woman who wants to entrap a man must have more than a toothbrush or undergarment in his house.

Take it further and make sure your clothes and shoes find a place in his wardrobe – even if it means edging him out. As you wiggle your way into the wardrobe, also make sure that you find a way of getting the spare key.

A smart way is to say that you need it to gain entrance on those days when you want to make your man his special meal or to do his laundry. Which man would resist this?

This strategy also ensures that no other woman can boldly dare stake her claim on your territory. Before you know it, you and your man will be joined in the hip.

The second phase of this strategy involves familiarisation. This involves befriending those who are dear to your targeted man. Make sure you are on first name basis with all his mates. In fact, ensure that all of them are very familiar with your superior cooking skills also let them aware that you are spending more and more time with their mate.

A woman needs to also use her wiles to ensure that you are a fixture in your man and his ‘boys’ lives. If they have a birthday bash, make sure you attend, preferably with some killer chapos.

If one of them is bereaved, take a day off and show up at the funeral and soon you will be stuck like glue to your man. This same attack must be applied zealously to the family of the man.

You need to come up with a plan to win the affections of his mother, sisters and brothers. If the mother likes the domesticated type of woman then go the full hog and show her that side of you ( even if you have to fake it).

Ensure that you are at every important family function. Before you know it, the man will be viewed as being ‘attached’ and married.

The last strategy is to get pregnant. Some have said that this is a desperate move but given our men’s current behaviour, it sometimes becomes necessary to use it. For those who want to use this plan, ensure that there is no room for doubt regarding paternity – it is best to have moved in a few months earlier before you get pregnant.

A word of caution is necessary here. It is important to know that this strategy could backfire and the man could walk away. But if you are tenacious enough, it may just pay off. Life is not fair and that is why men have to be trapped to commit.

njokikaigai@hotmail.com