Will you marry me?

Brown and petite, the smartly dressed girl was ushered into the young man’s house. As was the norm when she came visiting, she offered to cook a meal fit for two love birds. After the meal, they sat close to each other on the sofa to relax.

For Rachel, September 15, 2007 was like any other weekend out in Kiambu town where her boyfriend grew up and lived. As she lay on the couch, the words that came from her boyfriend startled her.

“I love you, Rachel. I want to marry you. Since I met you, I have always wanted to tell you this,” he said.

The room went silent with the girl digesting the statement, and the man monitoring the effect of his words. Finally, Essendi had proposed to her.

For Simon Mwangi, a father of one, it all started on the dance floor of a Nairobi entertainment spot. He was introduced to his wife- to- be by a male friend he had gone out with.

When the music blared to its peak, he jumped to the floor to dance with the new girl.

“I found her dancing style and physical moves in harmony with mine and I instantly thought I had met a lady with whom I matched in that respect,” says Mwangi.

The friendship was “ordinary” until he injured his leg and needed someone to help him around the house.

“I had several girls who would come but she stood out as the most caring and concerned. She stayed longer than others and always left last,” says Mwangi, who works at a publishing firm in the city.

When he was back on his feet, he organised a lunch date at the Blue Post Hotel in Thika “in appreciation for the care she had taken of me”.

When they had their fill, he said to her, “I want you to be with me, forever. I want to marry you. You have proved to me that you are the person I need in my life,” he said.

With that, Mwangi had proposed.

Such could be the anatomy of a simple marriage proposal. No fanfare. No preparation. No expectation. Just a simple statement to clear the way for the next level of a serious relationship.

For many relationships, it is the lack of this statement that has caused a lot of heartache. It has been used as a benchmark to determine just how committed a man is to a relationship.

In an ideal scenario, it is the man who makes the first move. Recent changes in cultural orientations are, however, giving women some leeway to also propose but it is yet to gain popularity.