How obsession with sex images ruins marriages
What you need to know:
- As some people grow older, Dr Mwiti said, “they forget to invest in healthy relationships and in principled living.” They end up lonely and watch porn to make up for failed healthy human relations with their wives and their children.
- Young men are giving their all to amassing wealth. They have become virtual prisoners of what is destroying their intimacy with their spouses.
- “If you have been focusing more on property and money and less on relationship, you are likely to grow up lonely, alone, and with very few meaningful relationships around you.”
- The interview turned out to be an indictment of modern Kenyan men’s obsession with wealth creation at the expense of nurturing relations with their spouses. Be it money, leisure, or pleasure you invested in, that is what you end up withdrawing.
A sensational read this closing year was a Nation exposé claiming pornography is a $10 billion (Sh900 billion) a year industry with over 10 million man-hours spent watching porn.
The revelation should be of great concern to men, who, research shows, are greater addicts of porn in magazines, videos, TV and the Internet.
Libertines will be swift to aver that what is deemed to be ‘abnormal’ — including same-sex sexual exploits — is purely subjective. In the spirit of live and let live especially in this festive season, this article will focus on pornography, which could be inflicting greater damage to marital relations.
In a book, The Sexual Man, which is billed as a landmark study of men and sex in the 90s, the author, Archibald Hart, describes porn addiction as having serious effects on its victims, who could sink into sadomasochism.
Published in 1994, a case study in the book is of a married man, who “found himself drawn to kiddie porn”, before he realised the depths to which he had sunk. Pornography, he realised, knows no boundaries. “It is a bottomless pit. It never becomes satisfying.”
Nairobi Clinical psychologist Gladys Mwiti linked older men’s addiction to pornography to morality. In a recent telephone interview, she said: “The values you grew up with end up being the values that you age with.”
The interview turned out to be an indictment of modern Kenyan men’s obsession with wealth creation at the expense of nurturing relations with their spouses. Be it money, leisure, or pleasure you invested in, that is what you end up withdrawing.
FAILED HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
As some people grow older, Dr Mwiti said, “they forget to invest in healthy relationships and in principled living.” They end up lonely and watch porn to make up for failed healthy human relations with their wives and their children.
Young men are giving their all to amassing wealth. They have become virtual prisoners of what is destroying their intimacy with their spouses.
“If you have been focusing more on property and money and less on relationship, you are likely to grow up lonely, alone, and with very few meaningful relationships around you.”
Dr Mwiti says that if you don’t invest in values to distinguish right from wrong, as you grow older, you start looking for young girls.” Nothing informs your engagement in the leisure enterprise.
Could watching porn be a factor in recent cases of undressing women? Most likely, given Hart’s suggestion that women’s images in porn suggest women are sex objects.
The hard-core stuff also presented many sexual fantasies as being violent and forceful. The message? Pain and sex go together. The more pain the better the sex.”
