It is an irresponsible act for a man to disown pregnancy

A happy mother carrying her son on her back. The High Court on May 26, 2016 ruled that women can now submit names of the fathers of their children, born outside wedlock and without need of paternal consent, to the Registrar of Births and Deaths. PHOTO | FILE | NATION MEDIA GROUP

What you need to know:

  • When a child is born, behind that act is a man and a woman responsible for that baby.

  • It is, therefore unfair, for any child to be denied the right to know who their rightful father is.

  • By choosing to have a child, both are accepting to perform certain duties.

When a woman gets pregnant, unless it was out of rape, that pregnancy must be owned by the man responsible. It is totally irresponsible for a man to disown such a pregnancy.

When a child is born, behind that act is a man and a woman responsible for that baby.

It is, therefore unfair, for any child to be denied the right to know who their rightful father is.

By choosing to have a child, both are accepting to perform certain duties.

Denying a child the right to know their biological parents is to act irresponsibly.

When they come of age, many children become keen to know who their fathers are.

Some of them insist that it is their right to know the truth.

The first step is to acknowledge this truth that there is a father of this child by placing his name on the birth certificate.

Legally, if a man’s name appears on a child’s birth certificate as the father, it is presumed that he is the biological father, who should shoulder the responsibilities that arise.

I believe many men protest against the appearance of their names on the documents for selfish reasons.

In terms of considering an award for child support, ensure that the child’s interests are catered for. Courts try their best to set support that will help in sustaining a child without affecting their future status.

Most men who were not committed to a relationship from the start would do everything in their power to ensure their names do not appear on the birth certificates.

In cases where a mother fell out with the father of the child, she would tend to do everything to keep him away from identifying with the child.

In the end, it is about what will be right for the child.

I personally believe that every proud father would want to identify with his child.

The Children’s Act clearly spells out parental responsibilities.

Does it hurt when a child grows up not knowing their biological father? It depends on the individuals involved.

Just a name of one parent not appearing on a birth certificate can hurt for some, while for others, it does not really matter.

EMOTIONAL PAIN

For some, having a missing father, not only on a birth certificate but also in their lives, has caused great emotional pain.

One woman whose wedding I presided over had never met her father or knew his name because it never appeared on the certificate.

A month before the wedding, her adamant mother finally introduced her to the father.

I have come to  realise that the decisions we make for our children may actually be the ones that cause them happiness or sadness.

Bishop Kitoto is a counsellor, a columnist and an author of several books on marriage and relationships.