Law cracks down on smoking, plastic bags

“What do they do all day, that lot?” It’s a question I overheard in the run-up to our last General Election, “that lot” being our MPs, of course.

In the last few days, Parliamentarians have demonstrated what they do by passing two pieces of legislation which will affect many people in their day-to-day lives.

On October 1, a law came into force which bans smoking in vehicles carrying children. Offenders face a £50 (Sh7,850) fixed penalty.

The law is based on research which showed that second-hand smoke contains more than 4,000 chemicals, some of which are known to cause cancer.

And smoking in a car creates a higher concentration of toxins than in a smoke-filled bar.

The new regulations will apply even if the windows are down and the sunroof open.

Research scientist Dr Anil Namdeo said: “People think that by opening the window they are clearing the air, but what actually happens is air is sucked in from outside and pushes the smoke straight towards passengers in the back seat.”

Small children are often strapped into a car’s back seat.

LEVY ON PLASTIC BAGS
Research shows that smoke can stay in the air for up to two and a half hours, even with a window open.

Health campaigners hailed the move as a tremendous victory, but smokers questioned whether the law was practically enforceable.

On October 5, another new law ended the provision of free plastic bags by supermarkets; all large shops must now charge five pence (Sh8) for a bag.

Many people welcomed the change.

Anyone driving through the countryside will see plastic bags caught in the branches of trees and looped over telephone wires; they litter the beaches and fish and sea birds are often choked by plastic debris; the bags take many years to degrade, unlike the paper bags used by the public up to the early 1980s.

Wrap, a recycling charity, calculated that British shoppers used 8.5 billion free plastic bags in 2014.

In England, the average person gets through nearly 12 bags per month, whereas in Wales, where a 5p charge is levied, a shopper uses just two bags per month.
MEAN CRIME
In a particularly mean crime, intruders crept into an old folk’s home at dead of night and stole their television set, a DVD player and a music system.

Staff at the Anfield Court sheltered housing complex in Newcastle upon Tyne have no idea how the thieves managed to get into the secure building.

There were no signs of a forced entry and they think it is possible the burglars tricked one of the elderly occupants into letting them in.

Housing officer Jane Watson said: “We have a lot of elderly and vulnerable people here, so it was a horrible thing to do. They must have thought we were an easy target, they are the lowest of the low.”

The stolen items were from the communal lounge, where the residents — all aged over 55 — watched television or listened to music.

All the items had been paid for by the residents. Ms Watson said: “They raised the money themselves and someone has come along and just taken them.”

Hearing of the burglary, a nearby supermarket donated a new, flat screen TV, a DVD player and stereo, and the residents were described as “over the moon”.

Police have appealed for anyone with information to come forward.

*****
More brutalised English.

We take your bags and send them in all directions – airline office in Copenhagen.

You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid – hotel, Japan.

Take notice when this sign is under water, this road is impassable – Outside a city in Africa.

Open seven days a week and weekends – A city restaurant.

Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves – A cemetery.

*****
Three churchgoing friends were asked: “When you are lying peacefully in your casket and family and neighbours are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?”

Arthur said: “I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader and a good family man.”

Joseph said: “I would like to hear that I was a great teacher and a loyal servant of God.”

Tom said: “I would like them to say, ‘Look, he’s moving!’”

*****
Daughter: “Daddy, I met him on a dating website, we became friends on Facebook, had long chats on Whatsapp, he proposed on Skype, we’ve had a relationship through Viper and now I want a big wedding. Daddy, get out your cheque book.”

Father: “Congratulations! Get married on Twitter, have fun on Tango, buy your kids on Amazon and pay through Pay Pal. And if you get fed up with your husband, sell him on e-Bay.”