A report card for the Grand Coalition

This is an end-of-year report card for the grand coalition. I suggest we grade it on two things; effort and achievement. Overall, the government gets a “D-plus” for effort and an “E” for achievement.

I have two reasons for this modest grade. One, this government is built on a lie. What the two principals shared was positions, not power.

In fact, the 50:50 power deal was a fat lie. It did not happen, it will not happen! On this account, Mr Raila Odinga was cheated yet again. The record must reflect that President Kibaki has never won a straight election.

In 2002, he defrauded Mr Odinga through the MoU. In 2007, they had to swear him in at night. And this deceit continues to unfold in the coalition. Although ODM is in ‘power’, all they have is an illusion of power.

The result is political impotence: they want to act, but they cannot! But my second reason is more tragic.

In this coalition, the president has behaved like the proverbial ‘dog in a manger’.

This dog did not eat grass, but it guarded the manger to ensure that the cows did not eat either. Its point? If it cannot have the grass, no one has a right to eat it.

And this is President Kibaki’s approach to power. He is not interested in it, but he will not allow anyone else to have it. The result of this is paralysis in the running of Government.

This is why I give the coalition an “E” on achievement. Similarly, and on this account, I suggest we give the president a “D minus” for effort and a “C plus” for performance. And this is because, instead of giving us ‘cruel rule’ he has given us ‘no rule’.

Let us grade the other members of the ‘matatu’ presidency now. Regarding the Prime Minister Raila Odinga, I submit that he has done his best. And for this, I give him a straight “A” for effort.

However, and because he is powerless, I give him a “C plus” on performance. But I have another reason for this and I want to give it by way of a story.

A French entomologist took a caterpillar and placed it on the rim of a flower pot. Inside the pot, he placed the caterpillar’s favourite food — pine needles.

The caterpillar began to crawl around the rim of the pot, smelling the food and desperately wanting to get closer. According to the scientist, the caterpillar crawled around the rim for seven days and nights without being able to reach the food.

Having failed, but still attempting to, the caterpillar died of starvation. Each time the caterpillar went round the rim, it counted that as an achievement and saw itself getting closer to the food. It could not distinguish activity from achievement.

And this is Mr Odinga’s problem. Like the caterpillar, he is busy at work alright. However, and because he is ‘powerless’, we must not confuse his activities with achievement