A report card for the Grand Coalition

In this curse, a story is told of a man who was very cautious. He never laughed or played. He never risked or dared. And when he passed away, his insurance was denied.

The argument was that he never really lived, and so how could he have died? This is the story of the two guys.

Regarding the other ministers, I suggest we put them in two lists. The first comprises of the performers, the other is made up of the goofers.

From the first list, Mr John Michuki gets an unqualified “A” for effort and an “A plus” for performance. This mzee is a serious Kenyan and ‘hats –off’ to him! Mr William Ruto and Ms Martha Karua get an “A” for their diligence in ministerial duties.

However, they get a “B minus” for their politics. And I am compelled into this grade by Napoleon Bonaparte. According to this strategist “ …in order to have ultimate victory, one must be ruthless”.

But one must temper their ruthlessness with a streak of charm. That is why Napoleon adds that “…a good king must wear a velvet glove behind his iron fist”. And this is what is lacking in the ruthless politics of Mr Ruto and Ms Karua.

This Christmas, I suggest that they acquire a pair of velvet gloves to cover their bare knuckles. The second list has Mr Makwere who gets a straight “F”.

Similarly, Mr Otieno Kajwang gets an “F” for playfulness. If I was a school teacher, I would recommend the expulsion of Mr Mwakwere and order Mr Kajwang to bring his mother to school the next term!

And now a Christmas message to our greedy MPs. As you enjoy your untaxed Sh800,000 this Christmas, I want to leave you with the words of Okot p’Bitek in “Song of an African Woman”.

“ …I do not ask for money, although I have need for it. I do not ask for meat, although I could do with some. I have only one request. And all I ask is that you remove the road block from my path!”

This Christmas we do not need your money and gifts. All we ask is for you to remove the obstacles you have set on our path! Is this too much to ask?