LOUGHRAN: Robots will be more ‘employable’ than humans by close of the century

Last week, this column was worrying about laptops and mobile phones and murder by Twitter. Now it seems there is something even worse in our futures – the Robot Revolution.

The threat is not the usual one, that they will develop brains and turn us into slaves. What the futurologists say is they will steal our jobs. One forecast says 75 per cent of the Western world will be out of work by the end of the century. What a recipe for disaster that will be!

The first jobs to go will be the repetitive ones, like shelf-stacking and packaging, including supermarket checkouts. It seems Amazon is working on a prototype algorithm in which you enter a shop, fill your bag with food and walk out.

Sensors and cameras know exactly what you have purchased and will automatically charge your Amazon account.

Drivers of taxis and trucks will go when the driverless car takes over. One scientist said, “We will see cars drive themselves down the street while their passengers sleep or watch a movie.”

GAS POWERED DRONES

Postal workers will be replaced by drones. Prototypes have been developed for huge, gas-powered drones that can carry one-tonne loads 40,000 feet in the air at speeds two or three times that of an airplane.

In the world of medication, robots could be developed which are so tiny they may be dropped into your blood stream and perform surgery or fight cancer or a virus as you go about your business.

One of the greatest changes could be in the world of warfare. Already drones are delivering destruction where previously airmen risked their lives, but how long will they last? Transitions to cyber or biological warfare seem the inevitable next steps, where casualties will be high.

Maybe it’s time to bone up on our survival skills and find a nice little desert island.

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To say mother and daughter did not get on well would be an understatement. When Heather Jackson eloped at the age of 17, her mother, Melita, did not approve of the boyfriend, and decided to cut her daughter out of her will.

That was in 1978 and, although the young couple married and had children, the old lady never changed her mind.

Before her death in 2004, she wrote to her lawyer, “I can see no reason why my daughter should benefit in any way from my estate. I have made it clear to my daughter that she can expect no inheritance from me when I die.”

Accordingly, she left her estate, totalling £500,000 (Sh64.7 million), to three animal charities and not a penny to Heather.

The daughter appealed and was awarded £50,000 (Sh6.4 million) which was later tripled on appeal. The three charities challenged this decision in the Supreme Court last month, resulting in the sum being reduced to the original £50,000.

James Aspden, the lawyer acting for the charities, said the court had upheld a vital principle, “that we’re all free to choose who will benefit when we die.”
Lawyers for Heather said, “she is naturally very disappointed.”

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A homeless man was drinking strong white cider in a wood next to a camp fire. He got so drunk he fell into the fire and wasn’t found until the next morning. He had suffered third degree burns over 70 per cent of his body.

Policewoman Claire McNaney said, “He was taken into hospital and put into an induced coma to save his life. But the burns were so bad, he had to have both legs amputated.”

PC McNaney of Durham Police said that wasn’t the end of the story. Because he is an alcoholic, the man is still sleeping rough and begging for money to buy cider.

Warning against the consumption of super-strength white cider, she said three bottles contain as much alcohol as 23 shots of vodka and cost only £4 (Sh520). The drink is therefore very attractive to young people.

Megan Good, aged 16, died after drinking 1.5 litres of the cider at a New Year’s Eve party. Recently, a girl of 13 was found passed out on a grass verge next to a busy road.

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Melita and Heather Jackson are not the only ones to have had inheritance issues. The will of Sarah Clark of Bournemouth stated, “To my daughter I leave £1 for the kindness and love she has never shown me.”

Other true Last Will and Testament stories:

By Anthony Scott: “To my first wife Sue, who I always promised I would mention in my will, Hello Sue.”

A worker left his employer the sum of one shilling “to buy a book on good manners.”

A cat-loving old lady left instructions that her house must be sold and the proceeds used to care for her pet. The funeral took place on a warm summer day and the cat was warming itself lazily on the house driveway when it was run over by the funeral car.

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