Cafes and fast food outlets take over as pubs decline in Britain’s city centres

In the town where I grew up, there was a road about a mile long which boasted more than 30 pubs. Today there are none. Also from those days, I can recall only three big city centre restaurants, whereas now there are millions. Oh, well, not millions, maybe, but many, many, many.

It’s a national trend. New figures show that in the last five years, the number of town centre bars, pubs and night clubs in Britain fell by about 2,000, while restaurants, cafés and fast food outlets rose by 6,000.

Indian, Italian and Chinese are the most popular eating places, but there has been a large jump in Afghan and South American restaurants. There are regional quirks, too. Leeds has seen a rise in Spanish restaurants while American-style diners are popular in Bristol.

No wonder there are so many blobbies waddling around.

So what caused the change? Technology and telly, for a start, plus evolving living habits.

Wifi and laptops performed a role in the cultural revolution which hit coffee shops in the 1990s, much assisted by American TV programmes such as Friends and Seinfeld.

DRAMATIC CHANGE

Prof John Morris points out that many people have longer working days and longer commutes, so they tend to socialise during the day or immediately after work, rather than deep into the evenings.

London showed the most dramatic change over the years, with a 14 per cent drop in bars and pubs, social clubs, comedy clubs, snooker halls, internet cafes and bingo halls.

Taking their places are establishments such as juice bars, tea rooms, lounge bars, cake shops and, with a 31 per cent increase — coffee shops.

But regulars at the local Duke of Wellington, Prince of Wales, Rose and Crown and the rest should not despair. The public house, at 16 per cent, remains the most popular of all town centre leisure venues. For the gambler, bookmakers are also in the top 10.

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The older I get, the more I mislay things, but I doubt if I could forget a false leg, a Mercedes AMG car or a necklace made from £50 notes.

These are all items which were left behind by guests of the Travelodge hotel chain.

Spokesman Shakila Ahmed says 18 million customers stay each year in the company’s 525 hotels in Britain.

“They tell us that the pace of modern life is fast and furious and therefore valuable possessions are easily forgotten.”

Well, maybe, but … a Victorian cast-iron fireplace, a set of garden gnomes, a monkey puzzle tree, a vintage wedding dress, a 24-carat gold iPhone case, a Sikh ceremonial helmet and shield, a stained glass window, a cuckoo clock, a barrister’s wig and gown, a suitcase full of rupees and a wedding cake in the shape of a Disney castle?

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Dozens of learner drivers are being caught each year using stand-ins to take their tests for them, according to the BBC, quoting official figures. The total over the past five years was 209 convictions. In addition, 111 people were convicted of taking the tests, theory or practical, for L-drivers.

More than 1,100 licences were revoked over that period for such activity, and last September a man was given a two-year prison sentence for taking a series of car, motor cycle and lorry tests for other people.

RAC spokesman Steve Gooding said, “People hiring impersonators put everyone’s lives at risk.”

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Mean thief: The person who stole a collecting box for a child with cancer.

Even meaner thief: The woman who went to help an old man who felt ill. Patting his chest, she removed his wallet and after she took him home, she stole his mobile invalid scooter.

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Between yawning and dozing, a bored civil servant decided to see what was in an old filing cabinet. Poking through the dusty contents he found an old brass lamp which he started to polish. Immediately a genie appeared and offered him three wishes. “First, an ice-cold beer,” he said. And within seconds, there it was in front of him! “Wonderful,” the civil servant said. “For my second, I want to be on a tropical island surrounded by beautiful women.” As if by magic, in a flash, there he was. “What is your third wish?” asked the genie. “No problem,” the man said, “I wish I will never have to work again.” And POOF! He was back in his office.

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“The car won’t start,” the wife told her husband, “I think there must be water in the carburettor.” The husband laughed. “How would you know? You don’t even know what a carburettor is.” The wife just shrugged. “Where’s the car anyway?” asked the husband. Wife: “In the river.”

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