Day of high drama as political class rushes to forge alliances

Afro-Cinema entered high drama on Tuesday, December 4, the D-Day for coalitions. Some highlights:

Charity Ngilu storms the ODM-Wiper nuptials ceremony and demands to be counted in. Some reports say she is added on as an appendix to the marriage certificate.

The last I hear of her is two days later when rumour circulates that she has been spotted at the Lord Errol restaurant in Runda having dinner with Uhuru Kenyatta;

Musalia Mudavadi is frantically trying to reach on the phone his betrothed, one Peter Kenneth, so that they can beat the deadline for their own three-way nuptials. Raphael Tuju is the other partner;

As Mudavadi is wondering where the two could have gone to, Kenyatta and William Ruto unexpectedly stride into his residence with a dramatic matrimonial proposal. Not without surprise, he accepts;

The Mudavadi-Kenneth-Tuju nuptials had been set for the evening at Uhuru Park’s Freedom Corner. A small crowd forlornly waiting at the park to witness the marriage ceremony learns of an abrupt cancellation without knowing Mudavadi has already accepted the proposal of the more important visitors in his house.

Truth be told, tying the knot with Starehe School Old Boys lacks a certain pedigree for somebody whose alma mater was Nairobi School aka Prince of Wales;

But the TNA-URP-UDF union faces a sudden ill-wind from noisy TNA MPs who accuse a State House functionary of hijacking the event. They also grumble about the presence of by back-from-the-dead Kanu, which has sneaked into the celebration through the back door;

Internal Security Minister Katoo ole Metito is sent to conduct a let’s-talk-about-anything-but-nothing tete-a-tete with Eugene Wamalwa just to “keep him busy” and confuse him from bolting to ODM as TNA-URP are roping in Mudavadi.

Ah, back to Eugene. He has been slithering quite fast all this time. He has just appeared together with “Total Man” Nicholas Biwott, Cyrus Jirongo, Kipruto Kirwa and some other nondescripts in what they call Pambazuka Alliance.

The curious figure here is Biwott. His demeanour does not suggest somebody who really wants to be President, unlike the hyperactive Eugene. In fact, he doesn’t even hint he is interested.

I sense his involvement is largely strategic, to retain a measure of relevance in the public sphere. The people accompanying him, nonetheless, are notable for their comparatively thin wallets.

Eugene’s ambition is far from insignificant, though. He has practically set the record for meeting everybody in the space of 24 hours. After his photo-op with Biwott and company, he has held separate discussions with Kalonzo Musyoka, James Orengo, Raila Odinga, Ruto and God knows who else. One must admire the youthful energy in this boundless trekking.

And now the Wiper business. There is too much of it already in the public domain. A wag reminds me a car wiper is in constant motion when activated. That’s its nature.

To be fair, though, the ruthless dispatch the TNA-URP dealt the Vice-President has had no precedent in Kenyan politics.

In retrospect, I wonder if we shouldn’t have seen it all coming, and also to wonder if there wasn’t a hidden hand orchestrating everything. Ruto set the ball rolling long ago with his acrimonious fallout with ODM. Then followed the curious post-election reconciliation with Kenyatta which has blossomed into the strangest of lovefests.

Many months later, Mudavadi exited ODM ‘guided’ by what is claimed to be some mysterious, high-level hands. Soon after, Kenyatta created a brand new political party out of the blue. Am I missing something here?

* * *

I have been receiving posted notes from a chap who signs himself as Kommandant of the ‘New Mekatilili Brigades’. I don’t know who the heck he is.

All I gather is that he is from the Coast and has a violent beef with a column I recently wrote on the MRC. He is threatening to physically do things to me which are unprintable.

Come on, Mr Kommandant. Where I come from, we do worse.

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