Tearful photo drama rivets a nation

Slowly and deliberately, a nurse called out the days of the week… Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday… and the young woman sitting opposite began to tremble and then to weep.

At age 40, she was hearing words for the first time. Filmed shakily by her mother on a mobile phone, the scene between profoundly deaf Joanne Milne and nurse Louise Craddock went viral on YouTube. On television, it was the feel-good moment of the week.

“I could hear what she was saying and it was amazing,” Joanne said, “the most emotional experience in my life. I can’t stop crying.”

Diagnosed as acutely deaf at age two, Joanne Milne handled her lot in life with courage and determination. “I was taught in a mainstream school and I was a happy child,” she said. “My hearing sisters and friends always included me in the hearing world.”

But at age 29, Joanne started to go blind, the result of a rare condition known as Usher syndrome. Previously, she was able to communicate by lip reading but as she lost her vision, things changed for the worse. “Being deaf became increasingly difficult. Deaf people treasure their eyes and it is heart-breaking for someone who is deaf to then be blind as well.”

As medical technology advanced, doctors suggested cochlear implants — electronic devices surgically implanted in both ears to do the work of damaged parts of the inner ear (cochlea) and provide sound signals to the brain. If the surgery worked, Joanne knew, it would be life-changing. Above all, it would enable her to listen to music. “I always wondered what music must be like,” she said.

The operation took place a month ago and the scene filmed by her mother showed the climactic and successful result. At the end, all three women in the little drama were in tears — as are many who watch repeats on the net (Watch it here — http://bit.ly/1gNw4Ro).

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I have a friend who supports the world’s most aggravating football team, Newcastle United. On a recent mid-week evening, Davey attended the home game at St James’s Park, where his heroes duly lost 3-0 to Everton.

It was after leaving the stadium that Davey realised he had left his cigar case, plus cigars, under his seat. Unwisely, he battled his way back inside. Now St James’s holds 52,000 people so you can imagine how high the seats go — and Davey’s row was among those farthest back and most steeply raked.

My mate is no longer a spring chicken, as we say, and as he searched for his cheroots, he missed his footing and hurtled four or five rows downwards. He ended in a heap in the aisle, very sore with grazes and bruises and a bump to the head.

The paramedics were quickly on the spot and helped their patient to the players’ dressing room where he was examined by the club doctor. Could someone come and pick him up? the doctor asked. No, his wife was away. Could she reach him on his mobile? He didn’t have a mobile.

OK, the doctor said, since you banged your head and you’re on your own, we better check you into hospital. An ambulance was called and Davey spent the night in the comfort of a hospital bed.

Next morning he was pronounced right as rain and went on his way.

In this country, we complain about pretty well everything. But the National Health Service, free at the point of delivery, is one Davey will never complain about.

He is fine by the way, which is more than can be said for his football team.

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Football jokes (even for the non-fan):

The genie of the lamp says, “I will grant you any wish.” Football supporter: “I wish to live forever.”

Genie: “I’m sorry, I can’t grant that sort of wish.”

Football supporter: “OK, I wish to live until Newcastle United win the Championship.”

Genie: “Crafty!”

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Manchester United coach Alex Ferguson is curious as to how Arsene Wenger gets good results from his team. “I ask them difficult questions to keep them sharp,” says Arsene. He calls Jack Wilshere over and asks him a riddle: “Jack, he is not your brother but still he is your father’s son. Who is he?” Wilshere replies, “That’s easy, it’s me.”

Ferguson goes back to Old Trafford and calls over Wayne Rooney. “Wayne, he is not your brother but still he is your father’s son. Who is he?” “That’s tough,” says Rooney, “let me think.” He then calls an old Man U player, Jaap Stam, hoping he may have heard the riddle. “He is not your brother but still he is your father’s son. Who is he?” That’s easy,” says Jaap, “it’s me.”

Rooney returns triumphantly to Ferguson. “I’ve got the answer,” he says. “It’s Jaap Stam.” “Idiot,” says Ferguson. “It’s Jack Wilshere.”

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