From warmest December to coldest January

Hundreds of riverside house owners sought refuge in church halls and with friends, returning only to throw out their ruined furniture

We have just had the warmest and wettest December on record, with spring flowers blooming in our gardens and Mediterranean butterflies spotted on England’s south coast.

At the same time, constant rain flooded rivers in Cumbria, Lancashire and Yorkshire, some for the third time in 10 years.

Now we are warned that January could be the coldest month for 58 years.

A blanket of freezing air is due from the North Pole and Siberia, bringing snow and temperatures down to minus 10C.

And still some won’t believe in climate change.

STAGGERING ALLOWANCES
One ancient institution which comes in for regular criticism in Britain is the House of Lords.

Opponents say it has too many members, allowances are too big and many lords don’t bother to attend but sign in just to pick up their money.

Plus, do we really need a second chamber?

Now the loftiest of the peers, the Speaker, Baroness D’Souza, is under fire.

Disclosures under the Freedom of Information Act showed that the Speaker racked up a £230 (Sh34,250) bill by keeping a chauffeur-driven car waiting for four hours while she watched an opera a mile from Parliament; that she held a car for four hours while she had lunch with the Japanese ambassador at a cost of £270 (Sh40,200); that ordering a luxury Mercedes to park for up to 10 hours during an event at Windsor Castle cost £738 (Sh109,900).

Using a Mercedes to get from Westminster to Canterbury for the enthronement of Archbishop Justin Welby in 2013 cost £627 (Sh93,350), while the House of Commons Speaker, John Bercow, made the same journey in a separate car at a cost of £525 (Sh78,170).

Other details showed that the Lords Speaker spent tens of thousands of pounds on travel and hotels, including £123 (Sh18,310) for room service for “a breakfast meeting.”

Baroness D’Souza is a former university lecturer who earns more than £100,000 (Sh14.8 million) a year for her largely ceremonial role in the decorous peers’ chamber.

A House of Lords spokesman said the Speaker usually drove herself to events she was required to attend, but security at some high-profile venues required that she be brought in a car which must also wait for her departure.
CONTACT ME
Here’s one of these charming stories we only hear about because of the internet.

It was the summer holidays of 1946 in Gateshead and Albert Turnbull, aged 10, was put in charge of his younger next-door neighbour, Terry Farrell.

He decided they should go to the park, but the park was two miles away up a steep hill and little Terry was soon exhausted.

Albert: “I searched my pockets and found a penny, the fare for one person to the park by tram car. I put my friend on the tram while I ran after it.”

Tram cars ran on steel rails powered by overhead cables; they never reached high speeds and had to stop frequently to pick up passengers or divert to pass each other.

“The passengers began to notice I was chasing the tram and were cheering me on,” Albert said, “Even the driver got involved by tooting the horn.”

Albert and the tram arrived at the park in an honourable dead heat.

He said, “As the people alighted, one of them gave me sixpence for my efforts. That was worth two ice creams, two drinks and our tram fares home. A wonderful day.”

As far as Albert knew, that little story existed only in his own memory.

But Albert, now 79, recently joined a local history group on Facebook and suddenly spotted a photograph of a small boy racing a tram.

“I found it unbelievable,” he said, “the odds of the photographer taking his picture on the exact day and at the exact second I was passing the tram must be millions to one.”

Albert is appealing for whoever posted the photograph to get in touch.
HEED TO WARNINGS
The warning was of massive floods and the emergency services called on Tommy to get onto their rescue lorry before it was too late.

“I’m all right,” said Tommy, “the Lord will save me.” When the water reached the first floor of Tommy’s house, a boat appeared but Tommy said no, he would rely on God.

Finally, the floods forced Tommy onto his rooftop.

Above him appeared a helicopter with a dangling ladder but again Tommy refused, saying, “I have faith in the Lord.”

Moments later, waves surged over his head and with his dying breath Tommy called out to God, “Why didn’t you save me?” Said God, “I sent you a lorry, a boat and a helicopter. What more did you want!”

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