It is better to eat a goat than a chicken
What you need to know:
- In normal circumstances, goat-eating has no obvious or disturbing moral issues. Goat-eaters, and goat-givers, carry on with a clear conscience.
- Even when offered as a straight bribe in the manner of the British chicken, the goat euphemism is not as blunt as the British chicken. But the most important thing to remember is that it’s rarely offered as a bribe (in the form of cash).
Different cultures have different euphemisms for a bribe.
Depending on culture, bribe-takers use vague or indirect words to make bribes sound more respectable.
For the French, it’s un petit cadeau (a little gift). For Italians, it’s “something for the weekend”. For Nigerians, it’s “won’t you smile at me?” For Kenyans, it’s “chai ya wazee” or “kitu kidogo” and, increasingly in recent times, a “goat”.
Now Kenyans have another euphemism, “chicken”. It’s from the UK trial of the British company officials accused of paying bribes to Kenyan officials to secure printing orders for ballots and examination papers. “Chicken” — why didn’t they call it “stinking fish and chips”?
— could well become part of Kenya’s bribery lexicon.
But here we are mainly interested in the goat euphemism. The Black’s Law Dictionary defines bribery as the corrupt payment, receipt, or solicitation of a private favour for official action. Because of that definition, and our culture, goat-eating is not comparable to chicken-eating, courtesy of the British company officials. In normal circumstances, goat-eating has no obvious or disturbing moral issues. Goat-eaters, and goat-givers, carry on with a clear conscience.
SPECIAL PLACE
In Africa, the goat occupies a special place. It’s used for paying dowry, initiation rites, saying “thank you”, returning a favour, showing appreciation, and marking festivities. Somebody gives a goat. Somebody needs, or is obliged, to give a goat. And, ordinarily, that is all there is to it. A goat is used as a social currency — for bonding and reaffirming friendships.
There is even a language, all its own, that has grown around goatish things. It includes proverbs such as “The goat eats where it’s tethered”, “You don’t give someone a goat for a gift and still hold on to the rope”, “Nobody gathers firewood to roast a thin goat”, and “The eater of a goat pays back a cow”.
Even when offered as a straight bribe in the manner of the British chicken, the goat euphemism is not as blunt as the British chicken. But the most important thing to remember is that it’s rarely offered as a bribe (in the form of cash). It’s just a nice thing to give. Consider this. On November 22, 1995, Kiraitu Murungi told Parliament:
“When I was at the Kenya School of Law and our principal was Tudor Jackson, we asked him whether we could be allowed to eat roast goat meat and he said, absolutely no because gentlemen do not eat goat meat. This is our country and if we feel that we want to eat goat meat it should be served to us. Nobody has a right of saying it is professional misconduct to eat goat meat.
The lawyers should eat goat meat like everybody else.”
Amen. Africans consider goat a delicacy. Well-to-do Africans, however, prefer kid goat. It’s tenderer. Whether it’s an old goat or a kid, goat-eating, usually, has nothing to do with corruption. On the other hand, chicken-eating, à la British, is commercial bribery.
