Lamu women MCAs lost the plot fighting minis instead of poverty

Last week, I wondered what exactly members of county assemblies (MCAs) do for a living and why they should expect the taxpayer to subsidise a lavish lifestyle.

Now I believe I have the answer: Part of their job seems to be to legislate on the morality of their constituents.

Early this week, two legislators in the Lamu County Assembly decided enough was enough and went on the warpath, expressing disgust at the moral turpitude that had turned their county into a centre of cultural impurity.

Now, if the two have their way, Lamu will be known for three things: Its famous annual cultural festival, its dehumanising poverty, and the length of the skirts its womenfolk wear.

On Tuesday, it was reported that a nominated legislator, Ms Amina Kale, had tabled a motion seeking to ban the wearing of miniskirts especially by women visitors who frequent public places.

The habit, she argued, is not just detestable, it is also disrespectful to a town that upholds culture and heritage (Perhaps someone better versed in matters cultural can unravel that last phrase).

READ: Lamu Assembly to debate miniskirt ban

Anyway, the motion elicited a howl of protest from some in the assembly who explained that such a ban would negatively affect the tourism industry, the mainstay of the county’s economy.

But such pragmatic views did not faze another legislator, Ms Zahara Mohamed, who not only supported the intended ban on miniskirts, but also intends to table another motion banning the wearing of dreadlocks and open bui bui.

“Tourists come to Lamu,” she argued, “to experience the culture of its people and if young people are not reined in, Lamu will be completely Westernised in a few years.”

In short, if these two legislators have their way, there will be no short dresses, miniskirts or dreads on the streets of Lamu Town and it outskirts, and well-dressed tourists may even flock there to sample the age-old, unadulterated culture of the county’s residents.

Now, I have no problem with representatives of the people wishing to preserve the culture of the majority in any given area. But three things are troubling about this notion.

The first one is that the Constitution expressly forbids such denial of fundamental human rights. My understanding is that if you walk on the beach stark naked, you will be arrested for indecent exposure.

"INCONVENIENT" CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT

But if you walk in a bikini in the streets of the town, you would not be arrested for indecency, although you may be for breaking a few other laws like creating a disturbance or fomenting a riot.

However, the Bill of Rights does not prohibit you from wearing a miniskirt or dreadlocks on the street leading to the county assembly hall.

How will the MCAs get around this “inconvenient” constitutional right to make an ass of yourself so long as you don’t hurt anyone else?

The second problem is more practical. Passing a populist law has never been a problem, but for a law to work, it has to be enforced. How do these legislators propose to enforce these two laws, once passed?

Do they intend to create a moral police unit which will walk around with a tape measure and a pair of scissors? Or are they thinking of unleashing an army of sexually frustrated thugs to undress skimply dressed women in public?

These two legislators must be told in no uncertain fashion: The “Talibanisation” of any part of this country is out of the question. Most men want their women decently dressed, but creating a law specifically meant to address an issue that is not an existential imperative is totally asinine.

The third problem is even more troubling. By any account, Lamu is a desperately poor county. The half-educated jobless youths who wear dreads and then saunter to the beach are in search of a living, not carnal pleasure. If they had decent jobs, they would not try to attract the attention of wealthy old European dowagers with an appetite for sexual adventure.

It is surprising, therefore, that the county’s legislators would preoccupy themselves with inconsequential motions instead of debating how to create jobs and eliminate drug addiction and sex tourism.

Paedophilia and pederasty are at an all-time high in the county, and all the dear ladies can think of is how to preserve culture? Phew!

[email protected]