Love in capital letters five feet high

What you need to know:

  • The most daring location was the side of the bridge itself, which carries the suburban Metro train system. It said, “YAZ WILL YOU MARRY ME? LOVE. B.”
  • The appeal was issued after investigators from 21 countries gathered at the international police headquarters in France, in October, to share information and draw up a list of prime suspects.

Twitter and Facebook are obviously not enough for some people – they want the whole world to know how they feel when it comes to matters of the heart.

It was a year or two ago that a young man of my distant acquaintance arranged for a message to be flashed on the giant information screen at St James’s Park, home of Newcastle United Football Club.

Posted at half time in the match, the appeal said, “Marilyn, will you marry me? Tom.” She did.

Perhaps that started a craze because lately there has been a rash of proclamations on the roofs and sides of public structures. They are mostly in the east end of Newcastle upon Tyne and often visible from Byker Bridge, a 100-ft high viaduct. The newest is painted on grass on the valley floor and says, simply, “SORRY LINZI.” The nature of the offence and the identities of the sender and recipient are not known.

As the love gestures multiplied, there was talk of a Byker Romeo, though it seems several people are involved. Signs included a gigantic turquoise heart on the roof of a pub and in words five feet high, “I LOVE YOU” on the roof of a carpet store.

The most daring location was the side of the bridge itself, which carries the suburban Metro train system. It said, “YAZ WILL YOU MARRY ME? LOVE. B.”

The love-struck scribbler was denounced by the Metro system chief. “This was an extremely dangerous thing to do,” he said. “The viaduct is a hundred feet high and anyone who attempts to climb over the side is gambling with his life.”

The messages are not all lovey-dovey, however. Earlier this year, two wronged women got together to take public revenge on their two-timing lover.

When Nicola Morland and Angela Illingworth discovered that Steve Frazer had been seeing them both, they had a huge banner hung from a footbridge over the area’s main highway, the A1 route to Scotland.

It said, “Steve Frazer, you’re dumped by both your girlfriends.”

* * *

Interpol is appealing to the public for information on the whereabouts of nine fugitives, suspected of serious environmental crimes, including one associated with Kenya.  

The appeal is part of an international effort to track down individuals involved in trafficking wildlife and logging and fishing illegally. It is the first time specific persons have been named.

According to the United Nations, the illegal trade in wildlife is worth around £136 billion per year and Africa is a prime target area.

The appeal was issued after investigators from 21 countries gathered at the international police headquarters in France, in October, to share information and draw up a list of prime suspects.

IN KENYA

One of those named is Feisal Mohammed Ali, alleged to be the leader of an ivory smuggling ring in Kenya. He is being sought in connection with the seizure of 314 ivory pieces weighing more than two tonnes, which were seized in Mombasa in June.

Another on the list is Ahmed Kamran, charged with attempting to transport more than 100 live animals, including giraffes and impalas, to Qatar on a military plane.

Ioannis Kokkinis from Interpol said, “Even the smallest detail which might be considered insignificant has the potential to break a case wide open when combined with evidence which the police already have.

Sometimes all it takes is a fresh pair of eyes to bring new momentum to an investigation and provide the missing clue. Some of these wanted individuals have been evading justice for years.”

* * *

Epitaphs to remember:

On a London tombstone: “Here lies Ann Mann, who lived an old maid but died an old Mann.”
At Anna Hopewell’s grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont: “Here lies the body of our Anna, done to death by a banana. It wasn’t the fruit that laid her low, but the skin of the thing that made her go.”

Uniontown, Pennsylvania: “Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake, he stepped on the gas instead of the brake.”

Harry Smith of Albany, New York: “He looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.”

In a London cemetery: “The children of Israel wanted bread and the Lord sent them manna. Clark Wallace wanted a wife and the devil sent him Anna.

In Thurmont, Maryland: “Here lies an atheist, all dressed up and no place to go.”

* * *

A clergyman arrives in a small town and asks a local boy, “Can you show me the way to the Post Office?” The boy does so.

Then the man of God says, “I’m the new pastor here. Shall I show you the way to heaven?”

“Don’t bother,” says the boy. “You can’t even find your way to the Post Office.”