Real men do not borrow money from women.
In the hierarchy of avenues for borrowing money, a woman should be the ‘lender of last resort’, just below Lucifer and your dead grandfather.
Let me tell you something about women and their money. A woman’s money is hers and hers alone.
It is hers to budget and to spend. They may come across as delicate spendthrifts with a cavalier disregard for saving, but I can assure you, dear men, that women are very vicious when it comes to their money.
And I mean both hard-earned or ‘sponsored’ money.
You do not borrow money from a woman, not for any other reason, but simply because women have no shame when it comes to embarrassing people who owe them anything, especially money.
So if you want to be embarrassed badly, if you want your affairs talked about on social media, try borrowing money from a woman and you will see the hell she will put you through.
They do not say ‘hell hath no fury like a woman scorned’ for nothing.
For truly, you will not see more hell than from a woman whose coins you have pinched.
A woman may forget the names of all the other girls you have cheated on her with, she may forget all the times you have staggered home at 3:24am from a drinking spree, she may forget all the instances you forgot her birthday, but she will never ever forget every coin she has ever lent you.
I have been following keenly some little drama on social media for a while.
Lady X, perhaps in a whim of great intimate passion, lends Guy Z some substantial amount of money.
Now, Guy Z, who is an ‘entrepreneur’, promises to refund the money to his girlfriend as soon as his suppliers pay him.
Well, it’s been over a year and Guy Z and Lady X are no longer an item.
I mean, how do you cook for and sleep next to a man who owes you over Sh300,000?
I feel sorry for the young man, who has been the butt of many jokes.
The girl he owed over Sh300,000 went ham on him on social media, embarrassed him and caused him to be a national laughing stock, at least on social media.
My suspicion was that the guy had truly not been paid, or maybe he was paid and had other pressing matters to attend to.
I also suspect that the young man probably meant well and maybe the lady was a little impatient and jilted.
This is why, I insist, dear men, for the sake of your true African tribemanship, do not dare ask a woman for her money.
For it is easier to live in hell for the rest of your life, than to walk around this town with a woman’s debt.
You will wear a woman’s debt around your neck like an albatross and even after you pay her back, you will always be Jamoh wa madeni to her and her bevy of girlfriends.
Women are venomous, and if you knew what they think of men who borrow them money you would never touch a woman’s money, not even with a ten-foot pole.
For women, a man who borrows her money is weak. A woman will never respect a man who borrows her money.
She may act all sweet and ‘supportive’ as she gladly loosens her purse strings.
She will smile at you and throw the ‘I am a Proverbs 31 woman' line as her pen graciously glides over that cheque.
She may squeeze your hand lovingly as she gives you her ATM pin.
But when you are gone, my friend, she will gossip you to her girlfriends and badmouth you to your boyz about the useless man that you are, and you will only find out about this when she eventually dumps you for a man who gives, not borrows her money.
It is a secret that our fathers and forefathers mustered.
No matter how rich our mothers’ and grandmothers’ were, never did our forefathers come anywhere near a dime that belonged to a woman.
For they knew, that when a woman knows that she is in control of the purse strings, she thinks she is the ‘man of the house’ and there is not a degrading word that she will not use to describe you because, what is a man’s worth if he has no money?
So please, young men, let the ladies keep their money.
I’d rather you starve than have a woman buy you lunch.
For there is no such thing as ‘free lunch’ especially from a woman. You will pay for it dearly with your reputation.
Pesa ya mwanamke achana nayo!