She’s putting beauty in her memory bank

Going through an eye check. A woman who has cured of deafness has been told she is going blind and now wants to visit places she has never been. FILE PHOTO | NATION MEDIA GROUP

What you need to know:

  • Joanne, a woman cured of deafness is told she is going blind and now wants to visit places she has never been.
  • The BBC asked listeners to suggest places for Joanne to visit to add to her bank of memories.
  • One of the most popular programmes on TV is Gogglebox. It shows a number of ordinary families or couples reacting to television programmes. Some of the comments are hilarious.

How, you might ask, could anyone possibly be so unlucky?
Last year Joanne Milne became an internet sensation when footage of her hearing sounds for the first time were posted on YouTube. Joanne, who was born deaf, was fitted with cochlear implants. As a camera rolled, a nurse read to her from a book and she heard the words and wept. Her tears of joy went viral.
Now, cruelly, she is slowly losing her sight because of a rare disorder known as Usher syndrome. “It is like a tunnel which is unfortunately closing in and in,” she said.
Determined to be positive, Joanne, aged 39, is trying to build up a bank of memories. So now she spends hours looking at old photos of her family, trying to imprint them on her memory.
Joanne, who is from Gateshead in the north of England, said: “It is probably the worst thing imaginable for someone who was deaf to be told they are going blind. I still have some sight and while I have that sight, I’m going to grab every opportunity and live every day like my last.”
The BBC asked listeners to suggest places for Joanne to visit to add to her bank of memories. Hundreds responded and Joanne chose three places she had never been to before.
First was a beach in Northumberland with a view of 14th century Dunstanburgh Castle; next was High Force waterfall in the heart of the Durham dales, where she listened to the roaring torrents; finally, she chose a boat trip on tranquil Ullswater in the Lake District.
“I’ve now got these pictures and sounds in my memory,” she said. “It’s magical.”
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One of the most popular programmes on TV is Gogglebox. It shows a number of ordinary families or couples reacting to television programmes. Some of the comments are hilarious.
A programme mentioned Central America. Jenny to her friend Lee: “Have you ever been to Central America?” “No.” “But you’ve been to America.” “Yes.” “Well, isn’t the middle of America Central America?” Lee shakes his head.
The England squad is announced for the World Cup: Pete: “They’ll get to the quarter finals, then they meet Germany, it goes to penalties and Germany wins.”
Right-wing politician Nigel Farage appears onscreen. Leon: “If Farage becomes prime minister I’m going to New Zealand.”
Hairdresser Chris on telling his mother he was gay. “She said, ‘well I don’t know where you got that from. Your dad and me are not like that.’”
Watching a large crowd in St Peter’s Square. Linda: “How many is a million? Is that a hundred thousand?” Pete: “I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.”
A programme on French churches: Dom: “There’s not a Saint Denis is there? Next thing we know there’ll be a Saint Maureen.”
A programme about drag, when men dress up as women. Leon: “I could never do drag.” June, his wife: “You’re not quite the right shape for it.”
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Thousands of migrants continue to besiege Europe on a daily basis and many continue to die, mostly from drownings but some in accidents.
At the French port of Calais, an Iraqi man aged 29, seeking to enter Britain, broke into a lorry and was crushed by falling pallets.
A week earlier, a teenager believed to be from East Africa was struck and killed by a train in the Eurotunnel. The day before that, a man was electrocuted at the tunnel entrance.
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A pious young man explained to an older priest how he discerned his vocation. He prayed hard for guidance and the first thing he saw afterwards was a bar of chocolate with the words, “Brazil nut.” This, he decided, was God’s way of telling him he must serve as a missionary in South America,
Asked the old priest, “And what if you had spotted a Mars bar?”
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Two Jesuit novices fancied a smoke and decided to ask permission from their superior. The first left his room downcast, the second left smiling and lighting up a ciggie. How so?
The first novice said: “I asked if I could smoke while I prayed and he said No.” The second said” “I asked if I could pray while I smoked” and he said, Sure.”
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A priest, a vicar and a rabbi walked into a bar. “What’s this,” the bar tender asked, “some kind of joke?”
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Catholic churches all have a little red light known as a sanctuary lamp, denoting the presence of God. Enduring a very long sermon, a restless little boy whispered to his mum, “When the light goes green, can we go?”