The trouble with Africa – as told by a couple of journalists from around it

What you need to know:

  • The other day, a businessman who is a friend of the top leaders said he was setting up a mobile phone assembly plant. He brought an American musician to launch the venture and paid him a lot of money.
  • Thousands of hired supporters of Goodluck Jonathan are complaining they were not paid the promised 2,000 naira to attend the launch of his re-election campaign.

Listening in to conversations among journalists from several countries on the continent in Addis Ababa over the past week, the impression one gets is that either journalists are incurable pessimists or Africa has more problems than we care to admit.

Here are their (uniformly) depressing musings:

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South African: The politicians are just sinking the country. I knew Zuma’s nephew when he was young. He was selling newspapers in the streets. Now, he has been given two oil blocks in the DRC literally worth billions of dollars. They just kicked out some Americans to whom the blocks had been awarded and gave them to Zuma’s man.

You can see the guys who are making the money from these deals everywhere in Jo’burg. It’s not unusual to see people driving in their German-made cars at 160 kph at midnight after taking a few shots of whisky. They are happy to pay the fine when stopped.

In the last two years, I have been burgled at home three times. The last time, the guys spent five hours at my place.

Mauritanian: There are no land rights in my country. The government is accountable to nobody. They bring Saudis and others and just chase the blacks from their land. Go, go, go, we don’t care where you go.

Ghanaian: The president has become so unpopular he spends all his time travelling around the world. The other day, a businessman who is a friend of the top leaders said he was setting up a mobile phone assembly plant. He brought an American musician to launch the venture and paid him a lot of money.

Later, we discovered that they were just essentially Chinese phones which he was putting together, branding and claiming that they were made in Ghana. Now the president and his other friends don’t want to see him. Corruption is such a big problem. Let’s not even talk about Nigerians’ habit of taking “chop money” from every contract.

Ugandan: Back home we call it enjawulo (the difference) which means “what is in it for me”. In every contract, one must get a huge chunk, well above the normal commission. You inflate the tender and get the difference.

These days, because people claim that only the president’s region is “eating”, I usually take friends home to Mbarara and they are shocked to realise that people there are as poor as everyone else around the country.

Namibian: At least the Ghanaian brought in a musician for a venture designed to make money. In my country, a businessman who gets all these deals from the government flew in an American musician to celebrate his grandmother’s 90th birthday. It’s madness. Wouldn’t she have preferred to spend time with other women her age and eat simple food and maybe give something to charity? The guys are lining their pockets any way they wish and just want to show off.

By the way, I haven’t seen a single accident since coming here. In Namibia, we die 10 at a time in accidents. It’s not unusual to hear four or five people have died at the same time. We are a small country. We are only two million and we are losing all these people.

Nigerian: Look at the headlines back home today. Thousands of hired supporters of Goodluck Jonathan are complaining they were not paid the promised 2,000 naira to attend the launch of his re-election campaign.

We are waiting to see what happens at election time. The politicians are intent on burning Nigeria.

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But here is the clincher. Many people say that the reason African presidents get away with ruling as they please is the fact Africans take a fatalistic view of their situations and do not protest enough.
Here is one final nugget in this vein.

Ghanaian: The last time I was in Addis, I was booked into a hotel where the bathroom above mine was leaking. It would fill my bath and spill over into the room.
Namibian: Gosh, how did it smell in there?

Ghanaian: No. It was not too bad. At least I stayed only for four days. Apart from the leak, everything else was good.