There is no excuse for intruding on the grief of mourning family

It seems Kenyans are so used to paternity dramas when high profile people die that the claims of one George Kariuki Njoroge to being William ole Ntimama’s biological son have quickly been thrust to the back burner.

Mr Njoroge, aka George Kariuki Ntimama, shot to the limelight when he appeared on TV claiming to be a biological son of the Maasai kingpin, who died on September 1. Njoroge and a woman who had accompanied him were later barred from Ntimama’s burial ceremony last Wednesday.

I err. It is not only when VIPs die that people claiming to be their offspring crawl out of the woodwork. One extremely crude and callous incident comes to mind. A brother of the deceased, who was obviously privy to his brother’s mpango wa kando (illicit affair), openly taunted the widow, saying, she might as well swallow a razor blade if she would not accept the just-arrived son on the burial day.

In the fast-evolving Sheng, the cocky brother-in-law might have told the widow, “Utado?”

Then there was a doctor whose widow literally broke down on burial day after three women appeared in succession, all claiming to have brought children “to bury their father”.

The cited cases are from western Kenya, where it is a tradition before interment for anybody claiming a stake in the dead man’s estate, including money owed, to speak out. This means that until a man is lowered into the grave, the widow is not sure of the number of her stepchildren and claimants to the dead man’s estate.

Women have a right to seek the best for their children. Both Kenyan law and international conventions defend the child’s right to a name — the father’s — in our patriarchal society.

The Constitution of Kenya, in the Bill of Rights 53(1)(a), entitles every child “to a name and nationality from birth”. Article 53(1)(c) of the same Constitution entitles children “to parental care and protection, which includes equal responsibility of the mother and father to provide for the child, whether they are married or not”.

The Children Act 2010 enunciates similar principles. It states in Article 11: “Every child shall have a right to a name and nationality and where a child is deprived of his identity, the government shall provide appropriate assistance and protection with a view to establish his identity.”

FAMILY READ MALICE

The Convention on the Rights of the Child (CRC), which Kenya ratified on July 30, 1990, further reinforces Kenya’s legal position on the child’s identity. It states in Article 7(1): “The child shall be registered immediately after birth and shall have the right from birth to a name, the right to acquire a nationality and as far as possible, the right to know and be cared for by his or her parents”.

With all these legal safeguards, why does it take the death of the alleged father for mother and child to make filial claims? In the latest drama, lawyers for the Ntimama family read malice in the case Njoroge had filed, claiming Ntimama to be his biological father and demanding a DNA test to ascertain the claim ahead of the politician’s burial.

The intriguing thing about Njoroge is that he appears to have been constantly in touch with his alleged father. Dead men tell no tales and it is too late to ask Ntimama to confirm or deny Njoroge’s claims.

On the other hand, and with all due respect to fellow women, waiting till an ex-lover has died to claim him for your child during mourning is callous in the extreme.

Inasmuch as dodgy fathers take the flak for not introducing their mpango wa kando children to the official family, women are equally to blame for not sorting out matters while their lovers are still alive.

Some people may chide me for not asking what efforts Mama Njoro may have made to tidy up the now not-so-small matter of her son’s filiation. Granted, but what use does it serve to intrude in a family’s grief during the solemn mourning period?

It is high time women cleaned up their act instead of staging usually futile, but certainly ill-motivated, drama at their ex-lovers’ funerals.

Ms Kweyu is a freelance journalist and consulting editor. [email protected]