Judging from our knotted English, there is no need to re-mark the 2016 exams

What you need to know:

  • In order to hone their language skills, Kenyan students are encouraged not only to be attentive in class, but also to read newspapers, watch the news, and put what they learn into practice in their daily conversations. This is all well and good, until you pay attention to the way many of our teachers speak.
  • Upsetting errors carry over from secondary school, through university, into the workplace. As a person who has to hire frequently, I find myself concerned that the average Kenyan graduate does not know how to compose a basic cover letter.
  • If your English teacher let you down, please remember that Google is your friend. It takes no more than a minute to verify the meaning of the word you want to use. May you never feel the need to “revert” to another email from this day henceforth.

The results of the 2016 KCSE examinations were highly disappointing. This is not necessarily to say they were inaccurate.

While I cannot speculate on what went on with the sciences, I can confidently state that the fact that there was not a single straight A in English in the entire nation should come as no surprise.

In order to hone their language skills, Kenyan students are encouraged not only to be attentive in class, but also to read newspapers, watch the news, and put what they learn into practice in their daily conversations.

This is all well and good, until you pay attention to the way many of our teachers speak. In addition, should you take some time to carefully peruse the next newspaper you pick up, before long, you will run into egregious grammatical mistakes.

For crying out loud, many of our teachers and journalists do not even know the difference between “he” and “she.”

HASTY KNUT REPORT

Take, for instance, the report that the Kenya National Union of Teachers hurriedly came up with to justify its stand that the examination results should be reviewed.

Right on the cover, there are “glaring shortcomings”. If you were to grade that paper, would your eyes not glaze over as soon as you read, “Our Quick Analysis of KCSE 2016”?

The title continues: “The Glaring Shortcomings.” The glaring shortcomings of what? The only glaring things about this cover page are its lazy title and the unnecessary quote marks.

Upsetting errors carry over from secondary school, through university, into the workplace. As a person who has to hire frequently, I find myself concerned that the average Kenyan graduate does not know how to compose a basic cover letter.

I cannot count the number of times I have received an email application with the single line, “Attached kindly is my CV.”

WILLY-NILLY CAPITALISATION

The average Kenyan “reverts” to an email, cannot spell “definitely”, and says “am” instead of “I’m”.

Safaricom’s business website invites us to say hello to “convinient” business “transations”. Using their services, we can access the Internet “in affordably”.

On the ODM website, words are capitalised willy-nilly. A link is also provided to the “Old and Disable Group.”

NTV’s tagline is “Turning on your world.” To turn on one’s world is to attack it. To turn one’s world on is to power it up; to cause it to start working.

The Kenya Police website says it “has its small beginnings in the period between 1887-1902, tracing its foundation on the Imperial British East Africa.” Where would I begin with that sentence? How interesting it is that these are the organisations for which many of our youth would love to work!

YOUR FRIEND GOOGLE

I could go on all day. Time and space do not permit me to delve into the assortment of editorial and grammatical errors with which our daily newspapers and news bulletins furnish us on a daily basis. Headlines all over currently speak of calls to “remark” – not “re-mark” – the exams.

Someone might say, “English came by ship.” Indeed it did. It has since, however, become one of our national languages. It is the world’s primary business language, and in order to be competitive, we need to get it right.

Additionally, many who say that we should neglect English do not speak even Kiswahili, or their own ethnic languages, properly.

If the nation’s English is anything to go by, there is no need to “remark” the exams. Those results are accurate.

If your English teacher let you down, please remember that Google is your friend. It takes no more than a minute to verify the meaning of the word you want to use. May you never feel the need to “revert” to another email from this day henceforth.

Paula Odhiambo is the managing director of WriteMotive, a written communications firm based in New York and Nairobi.