When costs mean you can’t afford to die

The high cost of living is a common complaint. What about the price of dying?

Church Action on Poverty found that the expense of a funeral has risen by 80 per cent in the last decade, the total bill now averaging £8,427 (Sh1.3 million).

A basic funeral comes in at around £3,500 (Sh553,000) but extras such as memorial, flowers and catering add £2,500 (Sh395,000) and administration and estate costs a further £2,500.

A study by the University of Bath estimated that more than 100,000 people will struggle to pay for a funeral this year.

The church report said many people on low incomes risked getting into serious debt after the death of a loved one and urged that bereaved families seek the assistance of the clergy.

An experienced priest could play an important part in steering the bereaved towards more affordable options.

Fr Denis Blackledge, a Catholic priest in Boscombe, said he urges relatives to use a local family firm of undertakers rather than expensive companies which are part of a national chain.

He said a coffin could be bought for as little as £250 (Sh39,500) and those on a budget could use their own cars for mourners.

The priest noticed a trend for relatives to add a personal touch to a funeral and this invariably increased costs.

He said he recently conducted a service with a leopard print coffin. Apparently, this deceased lady liked leopard print dresses.

Baroness Sally Greengross, chief executive of the International Longevity Centre UK, said, “The pattern of falling death numbers is about to turn around and start to increase. With growing costs, quite simply growing numbers of people might find they can’t afford to die.”

FUNERAL POVERTY

She called on the government to “act now before the issue of funeral poverty becomes an even more significant future crisis.”
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Vaughan Dodds, 45, a one-time police bodyguard for Prime Minister Tony Blair, told the authorities he suffered from the illness ME, needed help to get out of bed and could only walk for five minutes at a stretch.

As for his wife, Mandy, she had a complaint that made her highly sensitive to sound.

“The rustling of the bed sheets and pillows gives her pain,” he claimed. Even the sound of toilet tissue being ripped was too much for her.

Dodds received £55,000 (Sh8.6 million) in benefits from the state over four years.

But an investigation found the couple took many holidays abroad, spent £35,000 (Sh5.5 million) in health and beauty salons, shelled out thousands more on hotels and restaurants and sent their children to expensive private schools.

Investigators secretly filmed them riding on a camel, working out in a gym and dancing on a cruise ship.

Convicted at Teesside Crown Court on nine charges of dishonesty, Dodds was jailed for two and a half years.

Judge Graham Cook said the case “was made far worse by the fact that you were a serving police officer and the public expect more of a serving officer or a former officer because you more than most know the difference between right and wrong."

The case coincided with an official report estimating fraud cases in England Wales totalled five million in the past year.

The report did not give a figure for benefits fraud but said that many crimes involved misuse of credit cards and scams committed over the phone and online.

PLASTIC BAGS
As mentioned in this column a couple of weeks ago, supermarkets have started charging five pence for plastic carrier bags.

Seems Tesco customers in Oldham weren’t happy about it. In the week the charges were brought in, a third of the shop’s wire baskets were stolen.

Security tags have now been put on the baskets.

A New York attorney telephoned his client, Saul, a wealthy art collector and said, “I have some good news for you and some bad.”

The art collector replied, “I’ve had an awful day, let’s hear the good news first.”

The lawyer said, “I met with your wife today and she informed me that she invested $5,000 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum of $15 million.”

“Well done!” said Saul. “My wife is a brilliant businesswoman. Now I can handle the bad news. What is it?”

The lawyer: “The pictures are you with your secretary.”

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Wife: “I’m just popping into this shop for a pair of shoes. What will you do?” Husband: “I’ll go to Spain for my holidays, then meet you back here.”
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The teacher caught little Billy pulling faces. She said, “When I was a child they told me that if someone makes a silly face and the wind changes, the face stays like that.”

“Well, Miss,” said Billy, “you can’t say you weren’t warned.”