Bureaucracy in the UK is so endemic that to replace a bus pass is a big fight

I have a bus pass which, because I am aged over 60, lets me travel free from 9.30 am Monday to Friday and all day at weekends. I also have a senior person’s Gold Card for the Metro train system. It costs a one-time £12 (Sh1,770).

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am very grateful for these concessions from the state, especially because I use a bus or a suburban train at least once every day. The problem is the bureaucracy that goes with them.

My Metro pass expired and I went to the company office which, by the way, is about the size of a telephone box and doesn’t open on the busiest day of the week, Saturday, and got a new pass.

I noticed it was paper and without a computer chip and sure enough it would not open the station gates. I had to get an inspector to let me through.

The reason, he said, was that my bus pass had less than a month to go before it expired. My bus pass? Yes, your bus pass, he said. When I went for a new bus pass, the two would be integrated.

I will not inflict on you the consequent procedures, involving filling forms, producing stamped addressed envelopes, checking my mail, standing in queues and imagining how it would feel to strangle the author of this system. I did eventually end up with one piece of computerised plastic which does duty for both systems. But surely there has to be a better way.

Believe me, I am not a serial whiner, but with regard to my recent complaints about modern technology, I offer in my defence, a TV celebrity, Richard Madeley.

He wrote in his newspaper column, “My laptop has been urging me for months to upgrade to Windows 10. I routinely decline (last time I accepted an upgrade I lost half my files).

“So imagine my rage and frustration when my computer suddenly informed me it was installing Windows 10 anyway. I was “not to turn off” my computer. I tried but Microsoft had full control, which meant I couldn’t work for over an hour. I don’t like the new programme and I didn’t ask for it. Outrageous. And sinister.”

Right, Richard, how long before they take over?

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I was considered a “picky” child – didn’t like tomatoes, cabbage, leeks or Brussels sprouts, and I preferred margarine to butter. In time, I grew out of those fads (except for Brussels sprouts which I still loathe) and made my mum’s life much easier.

Looking back, I realise these were really just preferences. Today’s children also have food hang-ups, but they often turn out to be allergies, potentially serious medical conditions. Like 17-month-old Amber Rose, who is allergic to milk, eggs, wheat, peanuts and lupin.

At just four months, Amber developed severe eczema on her face and legs and this was traced to formula milk. Soon afterwards, her mother, Sarah, was feeding her baby scrambled eggs when her lips and face began swelling. Tests then discovered she was allergic to a wide range of common foods.
What can she eat? Mainly fresh vegetables and fruit, also wheat-free pasta, rice and couscous.

The allergy issue has received front-page treatment following the death of Paul Wilson, who ate a takeaway curry containing peanuts, to which he was allergic. The curry house owner, Mohammed Zaman, cut corners by using cheaper ingredients containing peanuts. He was found guilty of manslaughter at Teesside Crown Court and jailed for six years.

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Charlotte Nisbet and her boyfriend, Jay Arkell, could not afford the £650 (Sh95,800) a month they needed to rent a one-bedroom flat in London while buying a house was out of the question.

So like thousands of other young people today, they moved in with Jay’s parents, paying them £100 (Sh14,700) each.

“It would be nice to have our own space and not worry about treading on Jay’s parents’ toes,” said Charlotte. But she said she could not foresee getting a place of their own in the near future.

The insurance company Aviva has forecast that the housing problem will mean that a million more young people will find themselves living with their parents over the next 10 years.

A study predicted that 3.8 million people aged between 21 and 34 would be living at home by 2025, a third more than at present.

The figures assume that house prices will continue to rise at the same rate they have done over the last ten years. The average house price in London is £556,000 (Sh81.9 million) compared to £292,000 (Sh43.0 million) in east England.

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If you are going to sin, sin against God, not the bureaucracy. God will forgive you, the bureaucracy won’t – Hyman J. Rickover.

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