Kenya poor at reading neighbours' moods

Emotional intelligence (EQ) was first described by two psychologists, Mayer and Salovey, and popularised by Daniel Goleman. It is defined as the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically. This is especially important when one is under intense pressure.

EQ is especially important in high-stakes situations such as arose in Addis Ababa last week, when our government presented a candidate for the position of African Union (AU) Commission Chairperson. Our highly accomplished Foreign Affairs Cabinet Secretary was ranged against a slew of candidates, notably very strong candidates from Francophone Africa.

In the campaigns leading up to the elections, it was clear that several dynamics were at play. Firstly, any interaction with Southern Africans would have left you with the feeling that they felt hard done by when they were only allowed to chair the commission for one term. The last attempt at AU elections aborted when their candidate failed to secure the required majority to win the seat. We in Kenya remained blind to all this in our campaigns, perhaps worsening the ill feelings.

Secondly, there seemed to be an unspoken consensus that Anglophone and Francophone countries chair the commission alternately, and that since the previous holder of the chair was Anglophone, the next ought to be from a Francophone country. We downplayed this consideration in our shuttle diplomacy, quite insensitively announcing that a number of Francophone countries supported us despite undertones to the contrary.

ISSUE STATEMENT

Thirdly, we bulldozed the East African Community states to issue a statement in support of our candidature, and the way we carried this out left a bitter aftertaste among the common citizens of our neighbouring countries. We reinforced our reputation as a regional bully who doesn’t care about the needs of others, and who will try and do everything to get what we want. In this region we are considered overbearing and uncaring, and many of our initiatives fail due to the phenomenon known as passive aggression.

Passive aggressive people will usually never directly reject any request from an especially aggressive partner. They may even express support in order to avoid conflict and continue with a presumably harmonious relationship. Unfortunately, when decision time comes, the passive aggressive person eventually makes a decision in their best interest and does not feel obliged to abide by any earlier agreements. This appeared to have been our fate in Addis Ababa.

Finally, the media suggested that we had presumptuously scheduled a celebratory event at a luxury hotel in the city and even gone ahead and invited other delegations to this, way before the election even took place! If this is true then it shouldn’t surprise us that even some of the countries that had previously expressed support for our candidate changed their minds. It is the ultimate demonstration of lack of EQ to go into a competition and invite the supporters of your opponents for your victory party without caring about their feelings before the election.

PRESUMED TRAITORS

After the election, media reports cited senior government officials lashing out at presumed traitors who had promised to vote for our candidate but changed their mind. How they determined that this happened is mysterious given that the vote was said to have been by secret ballot, but one might guess that they deduced the betrayal from the fact that they got less votes in the final round than they had been guaranteed. Unfortunately, accusing your allies of betrayal does not endear you to them, and is concrete evidence of low EQ. This episode at the African Union has shown just how poor we are at reading the moods and behaviours of our allies and neighbours. Instead of lashing out, we perhaps need to take our leaders and diplomats through a crash course on emotional intelligence.

Lukoya Atwoli is associate professor of psychiatry and dean, School of Medicine, Moi University.

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