Decent women don’t post their marital problems on Facebook

The other day my colleague insisted that I go through a Facebook group page. Curious, I typed the name of the group and it led me to a Facebook group exclusively for mothers.

It is a page by mums, for mums and of mums. Boring, I thought. All it had was ‘my baby has colic, what do I do?’ kind of stuff.

Others were baby shoes and clothes that were up for sale. To be honest, what I saw on that Facebook page generally pissed me off.

But I learned something. These online women groups share extremely personal stuff that make one wonder how pathetic their lives are. From the look of things, they are stuck in lacklustre marriages, bland jobs and broke lives, and they are not ashamed to share it.

They share marital problems with their house helps, their mothers-in-law, conniving husbands and some ask for a cure for the venereal diseases they have contracted from mpango wa kando.

MISERABLE CLUB

These pages I have learned are little clubs of miserable married women who share excerpts from their miserable lives and give each other miserable advice.

They are dens of cantankerous, lethargic and idle women with nothing better to do with their lives than gossip on social media.

Interestingly, conwomen are also having a field day on these pages as they prey on these women.

With abbreviations such as DM for ‘Dear Maid’ (the househelp) and DH for ‘Dear Husband’, these social media clubs are doing women great injustice. They show we are cheap, gossips and are a suffering lot.

A member of one of the groups shared how she stole her husband’s phone and scrolled through the messages only to find that he was helping his married friend to get a house for his mpango wa kando.

The response was overwhelming. “Oh, tell that friend’s wife that her husband is paying rent for his clandestine lover.”

“Oh, you are next, birds of a feather flock together. So prepare yourself because your husband will also pay rent for another mpango wa kando.”

How I pity women in these groups, who use these forums to compare their miserable lives with those of others, just to make themselves feel better. You would think that women who claim to be educated and cultured would seek other forms to vent out their anger and experiences.

Another member who thinks the whole world cares about how her house runs, went ahead and shared ‘house rules’, which to my amusement included “No meat in my house on weekdays”.

Alas! These groups are not only for bored married wives, but they are also home to mean and backward women with retrogressive behaviours.

Women who share their personal lives on Facebook have insecurity issues and need to be told so if they are to change their bad ways. Who cares what your husband got you on your fifth anniversary?

WHO CARES?

Nobody really cares about the cheap pair of purple heels your husband got you on his latest trip to South Africa. Who knows, maybe it is his clande who accompanied him on the trip and picked those ill-fitting pair of heels for you.

Nobody cares if you are engaged, married or divorced. So don’t post those photos of your miserable engagement ring and gift boxes on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram.

Oh, and yours is not the only man who can cook dinner in this world.

Thousands, nay, millions of men cook dinner for their wives  every minute. So, your husband concocting a meal for you is nothing new to write home about. After all, it must be a sign that you have sat on him.

When he cooks you breakfast and brings it in bed, keep it to yourself; people have been having breakfast in bed before your parents were born.

l will tell you a little secret that you will probably not be told by anyone else. Those people you share your personal life with on Facebook pages like ‘Hello Mamas’ and ‘Kilimani Mums’  will not care if you dropped dead today.

For your information, if you can stay up late, scrolling down your cheap phone for juicy gossip, then it only means one thing, you are idle and mannerless.

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FEEDBACK 

Your feedback on why I think married women are to blame for their husbands’ weight problems was overwhelming, and as always, highly appreciated. Below is a sample of your feedback;

Hi Njoki.

Thank you so much for your articles every Saturday; they are a must read for me and my family.

I have never agreed with most of your articles but on this one, I totally agree with you 99 per cent because any married man is the woman’s responsibility and also a man is a reflection of his wife.

That’s absolutely true but I disagree on the assertion that any fat husband or man is lazy. Anyway, your article was awesome and a masterpiece.

Cyrus Maingi

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Each individual is personally responsible for their weight unless it’s a medical issue such as misbehaving genes or hormones.

I am told I look good when my weight is 80kg but I decided to look “skinny” at 75kg because it is within my body mass index.

To do that it comes with a heavy price; I have to jog 10km once a week, go through 45 minute home video aerobic sessions twice a week and when I feel lazy for aerobics, I skip for 30 minutes or lift weights.

Keeping fit can equally be addictive like food but the “side effects” are rewarding.

Joseph Musyoki.

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Bravo girl...your article today is educative and entertaining.

Stephen Mbithi

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Njoki  jambo.

Hope you’re scalding your pink gum with another jug of typical Nairobi oversweatened tea.

If you need more milk, you can rear a dairy goat in your basement where it can feed straight from shoppers car boot. Hey! Just kidding.

Now, I read all your fast and furious articles and sure as hell, if you ever stop to throw me into a vortex of emotions, I’ll commit suicide.

Don’t dare to stop writing more so about those wigs (that thing).

Kuria Njenga

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@Miss_Nasher: Dear @njokichege even if you put the man on a rabbit diet and make him go to the gym. He will still go to his favourite nyama choma joint

@GlobalTweep: @nationblogs @njokichege. Husband snatching is rampant so maybe that’s why some women ensure their husbands are fat and ugly.

@RutoLyoba: @njokichege. Hey, you reprinted mail sent in confidence. Loser.

@beautyfulAtis: @njokichege That article was so on point! Pot-bellied men are a total turn off!

@sattelite: @njokichege this women should stop feeding us like pigs. I agree totally with you. I now can point my finger and say it’s them.

@JustoMwas: @njokichege Hahaha. Today’s article! Whoah! Tough blow to the wives who can’t wrap their arms around their husbands.

@jobjb: Fimbo Chapa. kudos to @njokichege for being brave enough to hit below the belt and arouse the sentiments of the nays in truth straight talk

@kimani_jeremiah: @njokichege I knew. You need a bodyguard because women are going to kill you now.. As I predicted women are roasted today.

@DennisKaymer: A line that stood out @njokichege “Shame on you if your husband is so fat that u can’t wrap your arms around him.