Help me choose a man

I have profiled all the four men below and I would like you to tell me who befits the City Girl. PHOTO/FILE

What you need to know:

  • So what’s Ken’s turn-offs? His accent. I know this is a trivial thing, something that I should not even consider, given how handsome and attractive he is. But it bothers me that it has been 19 years since Ken landed in Nairobi, yet he always tells me, ‘Njoki…ret’s go pray goff!” (Njoki, Let’s go play golf)
  • On the second date, Steve told me bluntly that he is looking for a wife and asked if I wanted to get serious.
  • He is 39, five feet, nine inches tall and he is the gentlest man I have ever met. To be honest, I look forward to more dates with Raymond, more than any other man.
  • He is an average guy and I don’t want to settle for average because I don’t want an average husband with average kids living an average life in an average estate.

I have been dating four different men simultaneously for the past few weeks.

Don’t ask me the details, but I will tell you that the weeks of multiple dating have been the most thrilling in my young life.

Serial dating is something I would highly recommend.  You see, it is better to cast one’s net far and wide, weigh the options rather than drive yourself crazy over one lousy guy or woman.

For me it worked. It was exhilarating, but even after dating all these men, I still cannot settle on one because they are all top-grade, high-pedigree and cultured.

And this is where you come in; I have profiled all the four men below and I would like you to tell me who befits the City Girl.

The sophisticated lawyer:

 Let us call him Ken. Ken is 37-years-old and separated from his wife of nine years with whom they have a seven-year-old daughter.

I met Ken in a new church I was sampling the other day. Ken is a partner in a high-profile law firm. There is no doubt Ken is rolling in serious cash.

His sophistication is evident in his expensive suits and designer shoes. He is six-feet two inches tall, smells like heaven and keeps his jet-black hair short and neat. He has a small pot belly which I can see disappearing as soon as I convince him to sign up for the gym.

Ken’s idea of fun is playing golf on weekend afternoons and thereafter down nyama choma with his golfing buddies. He is not a heavy drinker, a few shots of Johnnie Walker Red Label works for him.

Yes, red not black label. Ken is not a bad catch. On the third date; he showed me the new house he is putting up along Kiambu Road.

It is two-storied and has a kitchen the size of my apartment. Ken has connections with top litigators and other legal eagles like him.

He also has several contacts in the corporate world. But remember every ‘perfect’ man has a flaw.

So what’s Ken’s turn-offs? His accent. I know this is a trivial thing, something that I should not even consider, given how handsome and attractive he is. But it bothers me that it has been 19 years since Ken landed in Nairobi, yet he always tells me, ‘Njoki…ret’s go pray goff!” (Njoki, Let’s go play golf)

The reserved senior bachelor:

I will call him Steve. Steve is 44-years-old and single.

Yes! Never married, no children, no baby-mama drama. He is the dream man. I met Steve at a party about six months ago and I ignored him at first because I thought he was married. Many of my friends who know him suspect he is a playboy.

I mean, why else would a man be 44 and not married? When I discovered that he was not married, I agreed to go on a date with him because I thought I had nothing to lose.

Steve is wealthy. He is a businessman and has invested heavily in real-estate. He is six-feet, three inches tall, loves to dress casual but stylish and has a potbelly which again, I am sure I can tackle once I draw up an exercise regime for him.

On the second date, Steve told me bluntly that he is looking for a wife and asked if I wanted to get serious. I changed the subject to the World Cup but I think he got the hint that I just want to date, no permanent bondage.

Steve is as generous and humble as a man can get. He spends most of his weekends doing charity work. Steve can make a great husband, he loves children and guess what,  he is a great cook too. He has cooked for me not once, not twice, but thrice in his house; all different dishes, done really well. If you think Steve is the right man for me, please think twice before I tell you his buts. What if I told you Steve is the most reserved man I have ever met and that his only idea of fun is visiting his ranch in Laikipia?

The adventurous charmer:

I will call him Raymond. I met Raymond in his office one day when I interviewed him for an article.

Raymond is a charmer; he is great company, he is funny and extremely intelligent. In fact, Raymond is more interesting than Steve and Ken and all the others put together. There is never a dull moment with Raymond.

The first time I met him, I knew I wanted to go on a date with him. On the first date, he surprised me when we went to Nanyuki for lunch and drove back in the evening.

It was the shortest day of my life. I never laughed so hard and enjoyed a man’s company so much. Because he is adventurous and loves to discover new things, I feel like he is my twin.

He is 39, five feet, nine inches tall and he is the gentlest man I have ever met. To be honest, I look forward to more dates with Raymond, more than any other man.

Like I said, every seemingly perfect man has a flaw. So what’s Raymond’s? Turns out he forgot to mention that he is married and a father of one. I was vexed that he hid the truth from me but it was a case of too little, too late. I was already hooked. While I understand that Raymond will never leave his wife and has nothing much to offer me save for a good time and exotic dates.

He understands and has brought himself to accept the fact that I am a young single girl who has to cast her net far and wide and one day, I will stop picking his calls because I have found ‘the one’. The truth is, I cannot imagine my life without seeing Raymond.

The average Joe:

His name is Fred. Fred is 34 and doing quite well for himself. He is ambitious, smart, focused and God-fearing. I met Fred on a parking lot at Sarit Centre.

Fred is an engineer with a local firm and imports vehicles as a side hustle. He is neither rich nor wealthy, but my judgement shows that he has prospects of doing really well. He never misses church on Sundays, rarely drinks and never smokes.

He lives on a rented apartment along Riverside Drive but he says he has plans to build a home in Syokimau, where he has bought land. I have met his friends and they are as ambitious and level-headed as him. On the first date, we had coffee and it was nothing out of the ordinary. He dresses okay, nothing special. So what is Fred’s turn-off?

He is an average guy and I don’t want to settle for average because I don’t want an average husband with average kids living an average life in an average estate.

There is hardly any spark in him and I forget to reply his texts. Fred does not have any ‘wow’ factor like Raymond, Steve or Ken, but he is the kind of guy my father would approve of.

There you have it dear readers. Those are the four lucky guys who have made it to the shortlist. Whom do you think  deserves this City Girl?

__________________ 

Dear Readers,

Last week’s column generated overwhelming feedback; both positive and critical. However, a good number of readers felt that the article was personally attacking them.

Some felt disrespected by the blunt manner in which I articulated my views. I believe it is the role of the media to inform, educate and entertain and never to embarrass or belittle anyone. If my article and follow-up responses on social media hurt anyone, that was not intended.

But we should appreciate the fact that some of these things have to be said and someone has to say them. Your responses brought me to the realisation that there is need to discuss some pertinent issues in a level-headed, straight-shooting manner without pointing fingers at anyone.

It was a long but incredibly enjoyable week as I followed the discussion online, offline and on-air and I can only say one thing; may we agree to disagree.

I sifted through the torrents of feedback and here are a few I thought I should share on this interactive platform.

FEEDBACK 

Hi, just read your Saturday column. I don’t know what the female equivalent of cojones is, but you got it. Watch your back, though. Hippos kill more humans each year than lions and crocodiles combined.

Daniel Kalinaki

 

Congratulations, you write what no-one-else writes about, you say what no-one-else would say. Keep it up. I just love to read your articles. Traditional male/women stereotypes should leave you alone. Let them continue to live in denial, but deep inside they know you are telling it “Just as it is”

Dr  Alenga Amadi

Njoki, we get it. You have been doing married men all your life. You’ve even forgotten that God is involved in marriages and you will pay for causing that married woman to cry. How do you sleep at night?

Queen Soi

 

I read your article today and my first response was, “How old are you anyway?” Here’s the thing. I understand you’re going for the shock effect. I do. But in all honesty, your articles are shallow, unfunny and mostly underwhelming.

Anne Maitai

 

You think of dressing and makeup, while a real woman thinks of how to save with her chama so as to buy a piece of land for her family. Clothes to such a woman are just secondary. The next time you see a woman walk past you, with what you call distasteful, ill-fitting and hair-looking like grass just reflect on what she is sacrificing for.

Loise Maina

 

I am disappointed with your article, I am a married man and I totally disagree with your opinion. I love my wife; she is fat, with a humble heart and stretch marks and I love her dearly and stop insinuating your opinion that fat women are not attractive and unlovable, that is prejudicial and uncalled for. You should apologise or I will follow this matter to the end and be careful what you publish. You deserve to be punished for this behaviour that is unacceptable.

Raymond Manyoki

 

Whilst some have genuine reasons for being overweight, some are simply lazy and that is the truth. And being a mother is not an excuse to not take care of ourselves either. I am a mother too and when my little girl grows up, I’d like her to be proud of mummy not feel ‘embarrassed’ to show me off. Taking care of our bodies does not necessarily equate to going to expensive spas. Njoki’s article was funny to say the least. Whilst I don’t agree with some of her comments, I think a mountain is being made out of a molehill.

Caroline Jero

@RobertAlai: Njoki Chege is the best. A gem. Love you Njoki, that is until you diss me in one of your articles. But for now, I adore you.

 

@RamzZy_: Why are people mad at Njoki Chege on this one? Honestly, those are conversations men have. Your lass grew fat on you. You talk about it.

 

@PruDyamante: Njoki Chege’s article in Saturday Nation has to be the most useless segment in the history of newspapers.

 

@ngwata_francis: Njoki Chege is nuts.

 

@Ndanuness: @njokichege I understand you’re trying to earn a living but it’s wrong to insult mothers, and to think you’re a woman...shame on you.

 

@davidruthi: @dailynation This @njokichege columnist has nothing to offer us, she is just a pathetic attention seeker trying to stir controversy