Woman, you are to blame if your husband is fat and lazy

A fat husband is a sign of a failing wife.  If your husband looks like a heavyweight primate, then you are a failure and you need to style up before it’s too late.

A married woman’s first assignment is her husband. Forget all that feminist hogwash about women empowerment. The truth is a married woman’s first call to service is her husband.

To be specific, his grooming, his looks and most importantly, his body weight are all your responsibilities.

Most women are doing very well when it comes to the grooming department. I mean, you match their shoes and belts, and impeccably iron their shirts.

Keep up the pink and purple coloured shirts. They look really good on your men.

I, however, have a problem with women who are married to fat men. It is your duty, as a wife, to ensure that your husband is physically fit and attractive because you are his number one personal trainer, diet checker and mirror.

FAT IS UGLY

No self-respecting married woman will allow her husband to grow fat under her watch. Shame on you if your husband is so fat that you cannot wrap your arms around him. Shame on you if your husband’s pot belly is the size of Vera Sidika’s derriere.

I believe a man is a reflection of his wife. A fat man is simply a reflection of a careless, cantankerous wife who is not doing her job well. You are shortchanging your husband by not initiating intense and disciplined exercise regimes and strict diet.

You can be fat and overweight, and hide under the ‘motherhood’ blanket, but it is unacceptable for you to let your husband look like you; fat and unattractive. You can’t both be fat, no ma’am, it doesn’t work like that.

Fat is not attractive, big is not beautiful and you can sulk and yap all you want about this, but that is the plain truth. To hell with that misguided message of ‘accepting my (fat) body as it is’.

No woman is attracted to a pot belly, floppy arms, lardy legs and mass flesh. That pot belly dangling shamelessly is not attractive and you know it, but you are not doing anything about it.

Why are you allowing your man to look so unattractive? Why is he such an eye-sore? How on earth can you proudly show-off that mass of flesh you call a husband?

If you are putting up with an unattractive fat man in your house, feeding him tonnes of unhealthy meals, then it only means one thing, you don’t see the point of having an attractive man. Better still, you too afraid that he will look so good that the rest of us will salivate at him?

It is high time you married women got off your high horses and woke up to the reality that you are doing your husbands a great disservice by allowing them to balloon like there is no tomorrow. 

You see, the thing with men is that most of them don’t really care how they look. They will eat anything and everything you place on the table, as long as it is edible and tastes good. This is why you must make it your core duty to ensure that whatever that goes into his mouth is healthy and will do his body justice.

WAY FORWARD

I mean, that phrase that men are big babies did not come out of the blues.

Any self-respecting wife, one who is worth her title the ‘missus’ will make it her everyday duty to put her husband on a diet, on a weight-watch and ensure that he can see all his body parts without necessarily looking at the mirror.

I cringe with embarrassment every time I see an overweight man introducing his ‘lovely wife’. Surely, there is nothing lovely about that wife who lets her husband look like he is nine months pregnant.

A wife who knows what she is doing will buy her husband gym membership or compel him to go jogging with her to burn that extra fat. If your man looks good, that’s a plus for you. It means you are a sharp woman who knows that a man is only as good as a woman.

Finally, if you are too busy chasing a career of raising equally obese children, please be warned that your overweight husband will soon bump into a city girl, a ‘Sheila’ who will take it upon herself to upgrade him.