Pre-teens don’t belong in boarding schools

There is no good reason why we should continue condemning innocent children to the insular world of boarding schools. And, for the record, I am not writing this from an ivory tower. Of the 16 years in the 8.4.4 system, I’ve been a boarder for the first 12.

I was barely seven years when I saw my dad walk out of the school gate, leaving me amongst strangers at a time when I was a stranger even to myself. The feeling of abandonment has stuck with me ever since. In this, I know I’m not alone.

Are boarding schools worth it? The separation from parents, the money paid and exclusion from society? Are boarding schools overrated?

Four things are worth remarking about boarding schools. One, a majority (if not all) offer an environment fraught with emotional, academic and social pressure. Expecting children under 13 to know how to respond to pressure is expecting something greater than a miracle.

VULNERABLE

At this vulnerable age, what children need most is an emotionally meaningful relationship, not pressure. And only parents can offer that. Teachers, however dedicated, cannot provide emotional satisfaction to every kid in the class.

That is the hard truth. In the words of Amit Ray: “There’s no teacher equal to a mother and there’s nothing more contagious than the dignity of a father.”

Two, a majority of boarding schools are private enterprises. They are in the business of maximising profit. As a result, the owners may use chicanery to satisfy their greed.

They may use dubious means to see pupils register ‘excellence’ in exams. They may even employ unqualified people (because they are cheaper) to teach the kids. You and I know the danger of a tool in the wrong hands. It is prone to mishandling. The same holds true for the clueless kids.

SAFETY

They are simply smothered under drudgery. Much worse, safety against abuse (physical, emotional and sexual) can easily be compromised at the altar of money. I predicate my argument on the fact that greed and naked ambition are the order of the day in boarding schools.

Three, boarding schools are a bulwark against society and culture. While this may seem noble on the surface, peer harder and you will see a can of worms.

The routine and inflexible school programmes distort the kids’ vision of reality. Later in life, when they get into the society (an eventuality they can’t avoid), these kids will suffer from ‘culture shock’ in their own societies, and nurse illusory insecurities.

Additionally, a kid has not one chance to learn the value of money — save for the importance of saving money — which is a priceless life skill.

HEALTHY ADULTS

If kids are to grow into healthy adults, they have to be brought up in a family, which is the microcosm of the society. Remember it takes a village, not a boarding school, to raise a child.

Finally, boarding schools are a fraud; a shell game. Parents are short-changed. It is humbug to pretend that we don’t see that. There is nothing special they offer kids below 13 years which parents cannot provide at home. Or that day schools can’t offer. It is hard to fathom the modern day parents’ obsession with boarding schools. Yet parenting can neither be delegated nor postponed. That is a fact.

Don’t get me wrong. Boarding schools are not inherently bad. At least not all of them. My point is that knowing when kids should board and putting yourself in their shoes is key. Anyone under 13 years should never be considered a candidate for boarding school. I have a feeling that it should be illegal. You can go and mark it on the wall that I said so.

Mr Kirimi is a student of psychology at Maseno University. [email protected]