Leaders, not Cyber ‘warlords’, is what Kenyan football needs

I didn’t make it to the MGM Grand Arena in Las Vegas for the $400 million ‘Fight of the Century’ but some two local ‘boxers’ have been entertaining me for free.

It’s two leading Football Kenya Federation (FKF) officials doing what they know best: Baring their legendary incompetence to all.

And not even former FKF vice-chairman Sammy Sholei has been able to umpire the bare-knuckle fight between Robert Asembo and Tom Alila. In his folly – if not suicidal – mission to divorce the deranged beasts, pleading with them that the fight must be clean, he is roundly ignored.

“Honestly, you people. Slow down on this kind of exchanges. It’s really embarrassing … these exchanges…. I would really wish that I am removed from this mailing list but, while am still here, Alila and Asembo, you can discuss the issues quietly, one-on-one.”

Oh, poor Sholei! Who said they wanted a clean fight? There are no rules here. It’s a street war; an orgy of violence. It’s about horror; it’s about blood, and, needless to say, it’s about survival. But whose survival? The starving footballer whose talent goes to waste or the greedy federation official shamelessly seeking to balloon his bank account off the sweat of our poor kids?

What a familiar script. Inevitably, the bell goes for the second round of mindless violence. And from the comfort of my front row seat, I order more popcorn.

Asembo is the FKF vice-president and Alila the Nyanza national executive member. FKF elections are due later this year and we all know what comes with the silly season.

Asembo and Alila are highly ambitious individuals. And many a time, ambition knows no rules, has no bounds. Be boss or die trying.

In a bitter and bizarre exchange over the past couple of days, the two ventured into virgin territory: Cyber war. And so, they have thought it wise to throw unprintables at each other without a care in the world. Talk of a rotten egg ridiculing its mouldy peers!

MAXIMUM IMPACT

In one email, copied to all top sports journalists, Alila tells Asembo: “The bitter truth is, under your watch cronyism and not foootball administration took centre stage when a leader like you implicates elected colleagues who are not appointed in name calling. You don’t deserve to be a vice-chairman of FKF… What have you done to improve the game? The writing is on the wall….”

Asembo hit back with the force of a quivering magnetic arrow: “Useless vain threats. The record is there that on October 29, 2011, I was elected as an independent candidate. What about you? You are not a football person. Even if you were to learn, it has been a challenge for you.” Alila – now brooding, eyes popping and legs itching – retorted: “Look at your answer… A lawyer who can’t even bail out a drunk and disorderly suspect. You thrive on suspension of your opponents… Arrogance has no place in football. You claim I’m not a football person but I have never been chased in corridors of courts…”

Asembo didn’t like it. You can even visualise him in his flowing black robe in the Supreme Court, moving slowly around the room to ensure maximum impact of his final submission: “Ask any top advocate in any of the 47 counties in Kenya about me and they will tell you about my legal quality and reputation. In one case I handled, before I met you (2009), I made history as a very young advocate when I defended and secured the acquittal of clients from 29 murder charges in the High Court of Kenya! You can Google.”

Surely, these nasty emails are not helping our football. But they can make wonderful movie lines. So, Asembo and Alila, ignore the rest of us and add Clint Eastwood and Steven Spielberg to your Cyber blows. That way, Kenya will make a tidy sum from a Hollywood blockbuster!

Asembo and Alila are still in their ‘relative youth’, what one would call - to use a tired cliché - “leaders of tomorrow”. But if these are our future football presidents, then we are fast marching forward to the past.

If the Asembos and the Alilas are the Messiahs we were waiting for to lead the transition from analogue to digital and transform our national pastime, then I’m afraid ours is a case of ‘danganya toto jinga’.

What we have are greedy hunters who will prey on anyone and anything to grab power so as to sate their avarice at the expense of the common good. As my good old political science Professor Agola Auma-Osolo taught me at Maseno University last century, our football is in a state of Summum Malum; here, the greatest evil reigns. God help us.